Tag: wisdom

Decadent Self-Care (a Spiritual practice, I’m sure of it)

Posted on by cmryan

LIst_todoI’ve gotten a little behind in my self-assigned tasks. I keep track of things like that. Lists help. There’s no one to blame and I’m not feeling all that guilty, either. The truth is I’m starting to experience a more balanced life (a Spiritual practice) and schedule, including having some creative/hobby time, recreational activities, and feeling rested. This can be attributed, in part, to the fact that we bought a new bed… actually two. Let me explain how it’s impacting my schedule…in a very positive way.

My husband and I will celebrate …[getting calculator]…16 years of marriage in a couple of months. The very first piece of furniture we bought together back then was an Amish oak, Mission-style queen bed frame and mattress set. Mattresses come and go, but the bed frame has been a centerpiece in our marital life. We bought it together and, like our relationship, it is strong, secure, and will last for many, many years.  Our sleeping habits, on the other hand, have changed since the honeymoon.

This awareness came unexpectedly a couple of months ago during a period of illness – we both came down with the flu and chose to sleep in separate beds until our fevers and coughs subsided enough so we could sleep together again. I wasn’t hit with the virus as hard as my husband was, so I chose to sleep in the guest room and use a small, twin bed we had placed there.

The experience made me realize how small a twin bed had become since my childhood days.  However, sleeping alone on a twin bed actually gave me more space than being crowded over to the edge of a queen bed. I took measurements. The twin mattress was 36 inches wide. I made comparisons. A regular twin is normally 39 inches wide or about one-half the size of a king bed, which ranges from 76 to 80 inches wide. Our queen bed mattress is 60 inches.

I’d become accustomed to being in about one-third of our mattress space during the past few years. I don’t call it sleeping – not really. Between our snoring contests, blanket-tugging wars, and my hot flashes, sleep had become something I did for two or three hours at the most, wake up for awhile, and start again. Not a lot of “rest” in there, but the disturbances had become the norm. Then I got to experience a full 36 inches of mattress – all to myself – and I began to notice how deeply I slept and how refreshed I was the next day, barring the flu symptoms. I recovered rapidly and I began formulating a plan. No longer would I be happy with 20 inches of sleeping space for the rest of my life. Changes were about to be made.

new_bed_021913I had all the measurements of various bed sizes. We visited a couple of stores to test out different mattress styles and sizes. I presented an idea to my dear husband, and after lengthy consideration over a period of weeks, we purchased TWO full-size mattress sets – one of his choice and one of mine – and placed them side-by-side in our bedroom. Now we each have our “own” bed with 54 inches of space to roll around in…108 inches of total AWESOME and decadent self-care! (again, Spiritual – I’m sure of it!)

I have been sleeping more soundly than I have in years. If a hot flash warrants blanket fanning, I know it won’t wake up my snoring husband…and he’s so far away on the other side of the bed acreage, that I don’t hear him that much anyway. We reach out our hands (or a foot) across the sheet to validate the presence of the other, comforted in knowing our loved one is near, peacefully sleeping close by, sort of.  It sure beats sleeping in separate rooms (as we’ve heard older folks sometimes do in their maturing years).

While we still need to work on further customizing comforters and headboards, we look forward to early bedtimes and sleeping later whenever we can. We’re thinking about moving a coffee pot upstairs, too. It won’t be long before this bedroom suite beats any 5-star hotel. I’m sure there are plenty of other features and décor items we can add to make it a place to spend the weekend (or at least a long Saturday morning). I think I’ll sleep on it for awhile.

Inspired to Co-Create

Posted on by cmryan

A seed of an idea sprouted in my mind several years ago and finally grew into form earlier this week: the creation of a spiritually-based women’s group that supports one another in their pursuit to be successful in whatever endeavor they wish to pursue…especially financial success. That group met for the first time a few days ago.

I’m grateful to see this initial meeting take place. I was inspired not only by the positive energy and the number of women present, but also by their high level of interest and active participation in the meeting’s activities. I look forward to our supporting each other, learning and growing together.

The visible success of our initial meeting validated that the timing was right for a group like this. Apparently, I was not the only one seeking ideas on the professional path, starting a business, handling personal finances at a higher level of expertise, or in need of a “sisterhood.” We were, are, able to connect at a spiritual and intellectual level that will support our adventures in life’s realm. We’re up and running!

The inspiration I felt during that meeting followed me home, kept me awake most of the night, and got me up with renewed enthusiasm to meet the morning. It has been filling me with confidence and determination to focus on a bright and growing financial future. My brain has been going non-stop as I consider the possibilities before me. The insights and honest suggestions shared at the meeting, and with friends since then, give me courage to make adjustments in my daily work schedule right now that will offer me greater life balance overall in a short time as well as long-term.

One of the aspects of making immediate and significant changes in my professional and financial directions, and sharing my commitments with the group, is how I must become accountable for my plans and actions. In fact, being more accountable is one of the key components and appeal for creating this women’s group. No more wiggling out of something you said you were going to do. When you share your intentions with someone(s) who writes it down, and follows up to see if you did what you said you were going to do, you’re more likely to actually do it. It’s the step beyond just saying it or writing down your goals. Yes, it’s important to do those tasks, too. Do whatever it takes to keep yourself on-track, motivated, and focused.

Did I mention I was excited about this process? Can you tell I’m inspired by the new mutual support that’s developing? I also am excited and inspired to see what I can co-create with God as my partner…and what Spirit will unfold in each area of my life to which I bring focus. I’m inspired to support the dreams of the other women in whatever way I can. Life is going to a whole new height!  

Did I mention I was excited?

Freedom To Be Me

Posted on by cmryan

The more I learn about who I am, the more I yearn to express fully as me. This may not seem like such a difficult undertaking, yet for someone who has focused on work first for most of her life, this is not an easy or simple undertaking. The most familiar way for me to express is through my work. Any alternative is challenging, and sometime feels very foreign. I find my freedom through my work – whether it’s for payment or pleasure.

I discovered in my early teen years, that by going out into the work world, I was not so easily relied upon to take care of younger siblings (four of them). I found it easier – and more palatable to my sense of independence – to go to school, work part-time, and pay room-and-board at home, than to be a teenager in the house, taking care of little ones, and being under the scrutiny of my parents. Working gave me a little money for my own spending, yes. But more than that, working gave me freedom!

Being in the workforce so early in life (babysitting at 9, restaurant at 14, bartender and office worker at 18, etc.) planted seeds of a workaholic behavior to which I now pay close attention. It’s often difficult for me to slow down or find balance in life. I dream of extended vacations, but I don’t often take them. Instead, I do refreshing mini-retreats each day through meditation, reading, and tasks that require minor brain energy. It’s a beginning toward greater experiences.

The act of working gave me the opportunity to discover how I fit into society, the world. I discovered I learned quickly, retained and honed skills easily by challenging myself through accepting tasks of greater difficulty, and was (am) able to complete projects efficiently through constantly improving production processes (specifically, desktop publishing, editing, and marketing tasks).

It’s interesting to observe how much I expect of myself. However, when I get lost in the creative flow of a project, humming along and losing track of time, it doesn’t feel like work. It feels like a graceful dance, a euphoric ballet, or high-energy hip-hop routine. I’m in the flow of Spirit; it’s Oneness in action. My time and energy become an easy give-and-take of talent and a creative expression of years of finely-honed skills. There’s a mental committee urging me on, encouraging me to challenge the status quo…watching my progress as I stretch myself and reach beyond previous levels of achievement.

These are moments of freedom to be me. I determine with a somewhat critical eye if I’ve done my best…at least, this time…where I can improve…and how I can explore diverse interests. I get to dig deep into my years of experience, get lost in a puzzle of complexity, and come up with answers or ideas that resolve a riddle or challenge. Then, I take a breath, turn around, and look for another set of questions that has no answers.

In that break between focuses, no matter how long it lasts, there is freedom to dream new creations, new endeavors, new accomplishments that bring new skills…and the cycle continues with great anticipation…the freedom to express as me!

Detoxing My Demeanor

Posted on by cmryan

A couple of weeks ago I came down with a seasonal flu or cold or something viral. It kept me in bed for two days (sort of), sleeping and eating vegetables and fruits as much as possible so my body could heal. I love that about the human body. It KNOWS how to fight off infections, viruses, bacteria, etc. if we only provide it with the proper conditions for healing….rest, water, nutrients, positive intention.  So that was my goal. My body recovered pretty fast (I don’t make a very good patient anyway).

While in bed resting, I watched a couple of documentary films about food and healing that included the process of “juicing.” Great idea! In an effort to assist my body back to a healthy state, I started juicing raw fruits and vegetables. You see, I also lost a bit of weight during those five days of illness and I’d prefer they stayed lost. Juicing allows me to take in the nutrients and not the bulk, so I can actually “eat” several helpings of the good stuff – like we’re instructed to do. I am mixing wonderful flavors and really enjoying the added energy, convenient preparation and cleanup, and the variety of foods I now consume. I also started taking 30-minute walks. More excess weight is going away and I’m detoxing in the process.

I wish I could say the process was as quick and effective when it came to my mental attitude in the midst of unnecessary confrontation or challenge. Is there a way to detox my demeanor, too?

I don’t like using the excuse of “I’m not feeling well” as the reason for my occasional sour disposition. I know better. And I certainly don’t like placing blame on others for their rude manners, condescending attitudes, or sarcastic remarks. There are times when I struggle to just let such behavior flow past me or when I’m moved to stop the onslaught and say something. Lately, I’ve been “responding” rather than being reserved. It’s the responses I’d like to change.

Someone reminded me recently how much they “hate” being talked to like they were stupid. I share that sentiment. Yet, I have to catch myself in those challenging moments to not fling back this same stinging dialogue. My ego-self goes into instant defense mode…before my God-self can take a breath, think, and respond – either with silence (for there is power there, too) or with a calm, respectful statement. I don’t like my defensiveness any more than I like being brushed aside. That’s where the detoxing of my mental state, demeanor, comes in. And that is where the simple act of taking a breath may be the key solution.

Just like the juicing machine takes out all the bulk from the raw foods and provides only the juicy nutrients in an easy-to-digest liquid form, taking a breath (or two) before speaking in those tense situations can remove the sarcasm and hurtful sting from words hurled at an unsuspecting target.  A simple breath can cleanse the mind (detox), provide a few seconds of silence (power), and allow only the juicy, respectful, easy-to-accept expression (nutrients) of who you are to be heard and understood. It lowers the negative energy in those tense situations and creates a pool of calm for everyone involved.

Divine Spirit recognizes and connects one person to another, if only for a micro-second, and healing occurs. I feel better already.

Great Expectations

Posted on by cmryan

You wouldn’t think that the turning of a calendar page would make that much difference. The exception is the transition from the last day of the year to the first. Starting another year seems to open up people to all kinds of new possibilities. Suddenly, within 24 hours, life is filled with great expectations of promise and potential. I can feel it in myself as well.

My focus is on what lies ahead. I am invigorated with the possibilities of what I might create, where I may go, who will introduce themselves into my life, and how the world will unfold. As I tend to be a bit of a techno-geek, I’m truly interested in what software, gadgets and conveniences will be revealed to the world in the next few months. Besides the people and things that will come into my life, I also get to look forward to how I will grow and express as who I Am.

The eternal supply of ideas that comes into my brain is sure to drop a few into the soil of my conscious mind and passionate heart. Those plans that have not yet been developed need to remain strong and sturdy to root more deeply in creation…in thought. For example, I reviewed a few pages from a 2007 journal to discover seedling ideas that still merit development, but that I had put on the back burner so long ago, they’ve nearly dried up in the dark recesses of my memory. It’s a good thing I write some things down!

It’s not only the promising expectations of “doing” that capture my attention, but also the potential of who or what I will become (“be”). A recent meditation, in which I was directed to ask Divine Intelligence for gifts that would greatly benefit me on the next stage of my journey, resulted in three key characteristics I thought I already possessed…at least to some degree…but apparently am still in short supply of having: maturity, patience, and humility.

Not only did Spirit provide the answer with amazing speed, but as it caused my ego edgy discomfort and a bit of argument, my heart knew it was the correct answer. Yes, I have focused on deepening these characteristics in recent years and have made great progress. But are we ever really finished? If we’re honest with ourselves, there is always something more we can do to be a better human in this world.

I have great expectations of myself, it’s true. As I make my way into a new (dual) career move, give some attention to personal projects, spend time with family and friends, continue to create a life and home I love, and learn how to have balance in my life, the development of these three, strong characteristics will be at the forefront of my mind.

All of creation starts with a thought…and this, for today, is mine.

My Own Christmas Day

Posted on by cmryan

This may be a radical idea, especially coming out just two days after December 25. In fact, I’ll bet it brings up considerable resistance within the psyche of anyone who reads this. Change usually does.

First, let me say that having everyone celebrate the same holidays on the same days or schedules each year is an ideal way to bring structure to society. It serves a purpose and keeps things orderly. It allows American companies to provide employees days off through the designation of specific holiday dates each year. Everyone focuses on the same celebration at the same time. In that acknowledgment there is unity and oneness – a nice feeling to have with your neighbor or relative.

I think this form of order works quite well for recognizing political or societal holidays. I have a different opinion in regard to the rigidity of spiritually-based celebrations. For example, I propose to recognize the Spirit of Christmas in April or August. No more December 25. In fact, we could move this spiritual holiday to a different month each year, just to be sure folks are paying attention to the Spirit of the Season. Why you ask? Why make such a drastic suggestion?

Think about it. From Halloween to New Year’s Day it’s just one party or get-together after another. People get worn out from all that traveling and partying and gift buying in a short two-month span. Why not spread out the celebrations a bit? We could easily move Thanksgiving and Christmas to other times of the year…to those months when there’s not a lot going on in the way of connecting with one another.

Christmas in August would be ideal! There’d be less weather-related issues for traveling (no snow). You could combine buying the new academic year’s school clothes as Christmas presents (practical and money-saving). There’d be a lot more contemplation time in December to prepare all those resolutions due by January 1st. You wouldn’t have two major, end-of-year holiday celebrations just eight days apart (loss of employee productivity with all that time off). And with all the thought and attention placed on getting just the right Christmas gift and being with those you care about, you would be able to connect with them in the middle of the year (plus end-of-year holidays) and distribute the love more evenly throughout the months rather than focus on the last 65 days of the calendar.

This year our family purposely down-sized the commercial expectations that have built up over the years. Through that effort, we found we had a lot less stress about the whole Christmas event, we were freer to give from the heart and not the wallet, and we’ve started seeing or calling each other without the Christmas impetus. We’re talking to each other about life and having fun. We don’t need to have a designated date to make plans to visit. We can choose our own special days to connect. And that’s a very spiritual thing to do.

We recognize the Love more easily – no tree decorations in the way, no fancy meals to cook, no special trips to arrange – unless we choose to. We decide…when to call up and say “hello” or “I was thinking about you.” We decide…if it’s a day to spend with family or friends or both. We decide…to bring that sharing and giving consciousness to each other or to strangers along the way…and we can do it EVERY day. We express our loving God/Christ-nature EVERY day. And isn’t that the message we should be sharing?

There you have it. My slightly radical idea to have our own designated and personal Christmas day. If we celebrate the Spirit of Christmas on a regular basis, would we really miss doing it in December? What a fun surprise this will be for my family next year. I really can’t wait for Christmas!

Birthday Thoughts

Posted on by cmryan

My birthday is this week. I’m almost at the end of another decade. I’ve been sick for a few days, too, so my perspective on life has been a bit skewed. It’s just a nasty cold or something; enough to put me on the pity potty every once in awhile, though I’m determined not to stay there long enough that it leaves rings. My focus has been a bit off. In the midst of my whining this morning, I received a reminder that put things in clearer perspective and shut me up at the same time.

My infant grandson was at the hospital this morning, having minor outpatient surgery. Due to my own coughing and runny nose, I couldn’t be there to help or be part of providing comfort – to child or parents. A friend in another state was having major surgery on his heart – a 6- to 8-hour procedure – that had been quickly scheduled to help him avoid any unexpected heart attacks. There have been devastating crimes across the world this past week, too. And I was complaining about coughing and sneezing?

I need to stay in gratitude. At least I get to HAVE a birthday again. My body is already on the mend through rest, nutrition and time, plus a few herbal cold remedies. I’ll get back to my full routine shortly. Any stress I want to bring on myself is waiting in the wings. I think that’s an important awareness lately – I can attract whatever level of stress and anxiety I desire in my life…or not. If I hold onto anger, all I do is get more angry and ride the downward spiral to emotional oblivion. That’s not how I want to live my life. That’s not the place from where I can make decisions for Good. It’s just too debilitating to live in that negative space. Maybe that’s how this week’s illness got a foothold; it found an opening in my self-pity and wants to prolong feelings of victimhood. Not today, thank you!

My grandson is already on the road to recovery; he’s quite a tough little guy. He hasn’t had any of the after-surgery issues his parents were warned about. As for my distant friend, the prognosis is good, too. Surgery went well. The road to recovery will be long, but he will recover. And tomorrow I will be one step closer to experiencing the perfection of breathing without pain or coughing or sneezing and wheezing. I’ll be able to get through the day with perhaps only one nap instead of two or three. Plus, it’ll be my birthday.

I’ll have the day to reflect and contemplate…how far I’ve come and where do I want to go from here? Do I like who I am…who I’m becoming? I notice I’m stronger, more authentic, compassionate, tolerant, more loving and forgiving … of myself and others. As long as I remember this about myself, it allows me to face the ugliness, anger and fear of the world with more courage and objectivity. As long as I stay focused on the inherent Good of Life, I can recover from pain more quickly so I can truly be a more positive influence in the world and for my family.

My personal mission is to “Learn, Teach and Serve” …from a Spiritual source and with Power for Good. That, now, will be my mantra and focus. Next year, we’ll review and see how far I’ve come. Happy Birthday to me!

Moderation

Posted on by cmryan

I love days like these…cloudy, a bit cold outside, listening to spa-like music of piano and violins…and the time to write undisturbed. This moment follows a vacation day from the pulpit, so I’m feeling recharged, contemplative and very grateful. I enjoy my work; I also appreciate the occasional Sunday off. It helps keep life in perspective. I believe too much of any one thing is either an obsession or a burden leading to resentment. But what is enjoyed or repeated in moderation allows the mind and body to fully appreciate its temporary nature. After all, all of life is temporary to some degree.

This is not something I understood much, if at all, twenty years ago…or even five years ago. Given my upbringing and early adulthood, I felt it was required to not only “suck the marrow” (Thoreau) out of each life experience before releasing it, but to do it quickly, urgently, before it got away or was taken away…and my opportunity was gone. Savoring an experience and trusting it could repeat itself – even if in a slightly different form – was a foreign concept to my old way of thinking. Fortunately, I can now appreciate a slower, richer pace…and still accomplish all I set out to do.

That’s one of the principles taught in many meditation classes: take the time to meditate each day and you will actually find you create more time to get things done in life. Another benefit to doing things in moderation is the ability to “enjoy the journey.” By slowing down, being mindful and focused, you can fully embody the experience you’re having rather than rushing through it and only skimming the surface of what it really offers.

This idea became vividly apparent when I was learning massage techniques…I had to slow down in order to really feel the muscles and the repairs needing attention below the skin’s surface. It also allowed the muscles time to respond to the pressure I was applying and releasing…to bounce back and heal. While I do very little massage anymore, a similar example is now being expressed through the piano lessons I must practice and comprehend.

It’s impossible to learn to play the piano well in one day…or one week…or even one month. Yet by steady and repeated practices, I do see progress. I can now read most of the notes on the bass clef; something that was a frustrating mystery a couple months ago. I hear myself getting better with each painful hour I spend at the keyboard – painful for others who may be listening, so I’m now wearing headphones to save them the agony.

It does my body and mind little good right now to work at my piano lessons for more than an hour at a time. Moderation is the key. Practice. Walk away and do something else. Practice. Do some stretches or take a walk. Practice. Go to work, write an article or sermon. Practice. Each time I come back to the keys, I feel stronger in my skills…I notice my progress…my hands seem to remember what they’re supposed to do. This moderation routine allows me to make greater headway AND enjoy the overall experience, rather than beating myself up verbally, practicing hours on end, and becoming frustrated because I don’t see that I’m getting it as fast as I think I should.

Would I like to learn more quickly? Of course! In the meantime, I am enjoying the process. I’m marking the pages of accomplishment each week. I’ve discovered old family music sheets that I can learn along the way (for variety from the lesson plans). I listen to music in a whole new way and am humbled by the talent all around me. And my body is grateful for the diverse physical positions throughout the day.

My new mantra is:  EVERYTHING in moderation!

Try it. Enjoy it. Live it.

Deciding Long-Term

Posted on by cmryan

Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever get ‘it’ all down…how to live this thing called Life successfully enough that I don’t need to have so many do-over’s or RE-awakenings. Like making decisions. I make several a day: what to eat or wear; which project to work on first; scheduling appointments, what music or movie to enjoy, etc. I’m grateful that I get to choose such things for my life. These types of decisions don’t have major significant consequences, but there are others that do…others that have long-term effects.

What I’ve been RE-awakened to are some decisions I made several years ago that seemed insignificant at the time. This has to do with my landscape plans and the large trees I decided to plant. When the trees went in I knew full well how large they could get, how wide they would be, and how and where their deep roots might grow and wander. The thing is I had no plans to be living on this property by the time they became a concern. Well, plans change and here I am, facing the consequences of my former landscape decisions.

In the Science of Mind textbook (p. 388.4) Ernest Holmes writes: “And so we prepare not to die, but to live.” This now is a great reminder about what perspective to have when making decisions of any kind, but especially long-term ones.

Had I made my previous tree-planting decisions with the thought of being the person who would now be trimming, or even eliminating, one large tree (and several smaller ones), I definitely would have made different choices. One of the key influences to my decision-making process is that, up until recent months, I moved homes every two to four years. Sometimes, I moved more often than that. The idea of living in one place long enough to actually watch a tree mature and become a nuisance was entirely foreign to me. Now, it’s rather comforting to imagine that possibility.

I have this vision of growing ancient in this home…of tending gardens and planting perennials… of building sandboxes and playing with many grandchildren on the swing set of our children… of hearing each floor squeak get louder each winter… of crafting from piles of endless stored supplies… of actually sitting on the front deck to watch the sunrise in the summer… and a myriad of other activities as the years float by. With such a vision before me, the decisions I make now are for the long-term. Thus, they are made with greater forethought and consideration than in years past… the way I wished I had made them to begin with when I planted all these trees.

I will make a formal amends to the trees that now must be cut down to stop the damage to my home’s roof and foundation. And I’ve learned to make better choices in every area of my life as a result of this experience… as some decisions are certain to outlive my mortal body. For now, I “…prepare not to die, but to live” a long, healthy and wisdom-filled life.

Anticipation

Posted on by cmryan

This year, more than any other time, I await the results of the presidential election with great anticipation. I’m certainly no expert on all the issues or the candidates. I’m sure there’s much I missed along the way. Yet I paid attention to what was important to me, balanced the presenta­tions from varied sources, did my own research, and then made my decision based on education, intuition and faith. It will be interesting to see how it all turns out.

Anticipation is an interesting sensation. It holds within it increased awareness, enthusiasm and hope… even some attachment to a specific result. This heightened feeling of expectation provides energy to stay alert, fully participating, being involved, and awaiting the finish or at least the completion of the next stage of unfoldment, whether it be election results, health diagnosis, project conclusion, and business or relationship decisions.

As any stage comes to completion, with it can come a sigh of relief and perhaps sadness that it’s finally over. Anticipation’s euphoric breath is released and a thought of celebration usually follows, however brief it may be. Shortly or eventually thereafter, a renewed energy begins to grow to address the next stage, the next idea, or another challenge…and the anticipation cycle begins again.

This cycle of anticipation and closure is very much like what we find throughout Nature. The ebb and flow of the ocean…the growth and rest of the plants from seed to maturity to decay…the changing of the different seasons…day and night… being awake or going to sleep…etc. Thus, this concept is nothing new. Anticipation is a normal way of being and provides us the motivation and energy to pursue our goals and intentions, as well as to carry us through any disappointments toward renewed optimism.

As the election winds down, I release a sigh of gratitude that this event is nearly concluded…until next time. The focus for many people will return to their previous interests, employment efforts, families, friends, homes, and social media postings…other normal ways of being and living. Our country takes a collective sigh of relief as we move forward into the next chapter of our world’s unfoldment and evolution. It’s an exciting time…and one filled with great anticipation!