Tag: self-discovery

Self-Reliance

Posted on by cmryan

[I wrote most of this in 2006 with a bit more added today…a reflection of Emerson’s essay of the same name. ]

When I’ve thought of self-reliance in the past, it’s always been in the form of survival, of doing what needed to be done and usually without anyone’s help. I learned to rely on certain skills to live my life and care for my children – skills such as: my ability to work and learn, intellect, communication, to “read” people, humor, to get back up no matter how much I was beaten down, to adapt, to change. These are the tools that kept me alive, fed my children, and allowed me to build a life. I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished and the challenges I’ve overcome. My abilities served me well.

mirror_imageHowever, there were times when I did not trust my own judgment. I occasionally lost touch with any sense of God-presence and many times turned to my human abilities or the words of others rather than rely on a Higher Power. I was self-reliant, but with a small “s.”

Emerson’s self-reliance offers a different perspective. He defines it as “a new respect for the divinity in man.” This interpretation has me thinking of it as Self-reliance (with a big “S”). I now view the term as, not what I can do to live, but what I can be to express who I am in this life.

I agree with Emerson on a number of points he made. I can believe in my own thought; I can trust myself. As a living expression of God, I must find courage to fully express my uniqueness, my talents and abilities, without hesitation. There is no reason to imitate someone else in order to find fulfillment in my life – “imitation is suicide” and it kills the core of who I am. If I believe that “infancy conforms to nobody,” then why would I choose conformity as an adult and allow society more control over my life? “My life is not an apology, but a life.” I must and DO live it to the fullest capacity I can muster. Emerson states: “Do your work, and you shall reinforce yourself.”

Well, I know how to work, and am finally doing the work I’ve been called to do. I’m also learning to be the person I always dreamed I was – a unique expression of Spirit. May my actions express the greatness I feel inside me, without apology. “I must be myself.”

 

Praying from a Different Position

Posted on by cmryan

Every once in awhile we’re given the opportunity to see into the future, of what a situation might be like, if we’re only willing to open our eyes to see it. Such was the case as my husband and I made our way upstairs to our room at the end of a very long and busy day.

He walked up the steps in front of me, slowly, one step at a time. I followed close behind, clutching the back waistband of his jeans and the thick belt wrapped around his waist. I very much needed his strong momentum and the pull up the stairs as a recent injury to my knee hindered my mobility, gait and strength in climbing toward bed and a night of much needed rest. My leg was swollen and throbbing with pain.

Half-way up the stairs I made a flippant comment about not expecting this type of ascent to come so soon in our lives; I thought it would be at least 15 to 20 years before we would have experienced this episode. Our laughter turned to tears. We were supporting one another in a very physical way, but also an emotional one. We hugged as we victoriously completed the last step. We were both keenly aware that we needed to make a concerted effort immediately to achieve and maintain our individual physical strengths so that this assisted stairway climb would be an anomaly and not the norm anytime soon.

It was a minor accident. The heel of my shoe got caught in a small hole. The shoe stayed stuck just long enough for my leg and knee to hyper-extend. Before the jerk from the forward thrust could pull me to the ground, the heel came free from its prison. I maintained my balance, readjusted my shoe, and continued through my day. In the middle of the night, several hours after this incident, I was awakened by throbbing pain around the knee. The joint was seriously injured. I sent a prayer request to my “spiritual brigade.”

knee_xray_image
knee_xray_image

After two days of wrapping, elevating and icing the swollen knee, my husband convinced me to see my chiropractor (who specializes in sports injuries, too). Naturally, I did my own research before the appointed time, forming my own diagnosis. The doctor came to the same conclusion through his examination of my limb that I was able to discover on my own. I love validation! However, because the knee tissue was still quite swollen, any further MRIs or testing would have to wait a couple of days more. More ice. More rest. More prayer.

The injury was perfectly timed. This is my “spring break” from teaching classes. Also, I’m fortunate to be able to work from home. Most of my work is computer-based and I can sit on the chaise or at my desk with my knee wrapped, iced and propped in a somewhat comfortable position…and still be quite productive. By having limited mobility, I maintained focus on pressing projects and am ahead of schedule. What a gift

The prayer support and messages from friends lifts my energy and helps me stay focused on returning to full functionality as quickly as possible. I’m grateful for my husband’s loving attentiveness and his willingness to collect my things from one room to another. My dog monitors my every move, content to stay close by in case I need something to cuddle. I’ve even begun replacing my shoe wardrobe with safer, sensible and knee-friendly styles.

My attitude is one of gratitude and positive focus. I choose to be well. I choose strength and health. And I know that I already have it right now within my mind and soul. It’s just going to take whatever time is necessary for the healing to manifest as a fully functioning knee joint.

Meanwhile, I’ll say my prayers from the sitting position, knowing they are answered just as easily.

Decadent Self-Care (a Spiritual practice, I’m sure of it)

Posted on by cmryan

LIst_todoI’ve gotten a little behind in my self-assigned tasks. I keep track of things like that. Lists help. There’s no one to blame and I’m not feeling all that guilty, either. The truth is I’m starting to experience a more balanced life (a Spiritual practice) and schedule, including having some creative/hobby time, recreational activities, and feeling rested. This can be attributed, in part, to the fact that we bought a new bed… actually two. Let me explain how it’s impacting my schedule…in a very positive way.

My husband and I will celebrate …[getting calculator]…16 years of marriage in a couple of months. The very first piece of furniture we bought together back then was an Amish oak, Mission-style queen bed frame and mattress set. Mattresses come and go, but the bed frame has been a centerpiece in our marital life. We bought it together and, like our relationship, it is strong, secure, and will last for many, many years.  Our sleeping habits, on the other hand, have changed since the honeymoon.

This awareness came unexpectedly a couple of months ago during a period of illness – we both came down with the flu and chose to sleep in separate beds until our fevers and coughs subsided enough so we could sleep together again. I wasn’t hit with the virus as hard as my husband was, so I chose to sleep in the guest room and use a small, twin bed we had placed there.

The experience made me realize how small a twin bed had become since my childhood days.  However, sleeping alone on a twin bed actually gave me more space than being crowded over to the edge of a queen bed. I took measurements. The twin mattress was 36 inches wide. I made comparisons. A regular twin is normally 39 inches wide or about one-half the size of a king bed, which ranges from 76 to 80 inches wide. Our queen bed mattress is 60 inches.

I’d become accustomed to being in about one-third of our mattress space during the past few years. I don’t call it sleeping – not really. Between our snoring contests, blanket-tugging wars, and my hot flashes, sleep had become something I did for two or three hours at the most, wake up for awhile, and start again. Not a lot of “rest” in there, but the disturbances had become the norm. Then I got to experience a full 36 inches of mattress – all to myself – and I began to notice how deeply I slept and how refreshed I was the next day, barring the flu symptoms. I recovered rapidly and I began formulating a plan. No longer would I be happy with 20 inches of sleeping space for the rest of my life. Changes were about to be made.

new_bed_021913I had all the measurements of various bed sizes. We visited a couple of stores to test out different mattress styles and sizes. I presented an idea to my dear husband, and after lengthy consideration over a period of weeks, we purchased TWO full-size mattress sets – one of his choice and one of mine – and placed them side-by-side in our bedroom. Now we each have our “own” bed with 54 inches of space to roll around in…108 inches of total AWESOME and decadent self-care! (again, Spiritual – I’m sure of it!)

I have been sleeping more soundly than I have in years. If a hot flash warrants blanket fanning, I know it won’t wake up my snoring husband…and he’s so far away on the other side of the bed acreage, that I don’t hear him that much anyway. We reach out our hands (or a foot) across the sheet to validate the presence of the other, comforted in knowing our loved one is near, peacefully sleeping close by, sort of.  It sure beats sleeping in separate rooms (as we’ve heard older folks sometimes do in their maturing years).

While we still need to work on further customizing comforters and headboards, we look forward to early bedtimes and sleeping later whenever we can. We’re thinking about moving a coffee pot upstairs, too. It won’t be long before this bedroom suite beats any 5-star hotel. I’m sure there are plenty of other features and décor items we can add to make it a place to spend the weekend (or at least a long Saturday morning). I think I’ll sleep on it for awhile.

Claiming My Space – Declaring My Place

Posted on by cmryan

I can finally see my office floor! For several months my desk has been surrounded by piles of boxes, files, photo albums, and years of memorabilia. Until recently, I had been slow to unpack, sort, shred, or move the contents of these boxes to where they belonged. However, after I made the commitment to our church’s women’s group, the accountability and deadline I imposed on myself put me into high gear and, with the help of my daughter, I finally claimed my office space as my own.

Little did I know how much I would appreciate opening up the center space and reviewing my possessions, which had been stuck in boxes for so many years. Journals by the dozens, 35mm slides of people I don’t remember from a past photography class, a couple of books I wrote and have yet to publish, and so much more. I shredded bags of old documents that no longer matter. Empty boxes flew out the door as file drawers received their contents. There is much that still needs sorting, but at last there is space…for me.

I feel very fortunate to have a dedicated space of my own and one finally large enough to contain the busyness of my life – past and present interests. It wasn’t that the space hadn’t been there before. It was. I just hadn’t claimed it for myself. And I realize I’ve done that a lot to myself…in the past…up until now. Once I declared a place for myself, my husband and I agreed to plans that benefited both of us and arrangements were made for everything to come into being. It was a relatively simple process; one that I had not bothered to pursue before. I am now taking this experience, this lesson, into other areas of my life.

Part of the delay to take care of myself in this manner, I’m sure, comes from a lifelong practice of taking care of everyone else first. As the “oldest” sibling, as a mother, and even now as a grandmother, plus the type of service-oriented careers I’ve had, created a mindset in me of being more concerned for everyone else’s needs before my own. To do otherwise seemed selfish…up until now. In fact, just the opposite has occurred.

The better I take care of myself, similar to the airline’s example of putting on my own oxygen mask first, the better I can tend to the needs of others. When I declare my place in the world – my world – there are times when I am first and times when I’m not, depending on the situation. However, there is no reason to put myself last in every situation. Thus, I’ve not only claimed my office space, I’m also claiming time to take diligent care of myself…to enjoy my creative hobbies…to visit with family and friends…to take a break or a nap when I feel the need…to engage in work that fills my heart and soul with joy and enthusiasm…to enjoy the NOW moment every day…to share the love for life!

In the process of changing past priorities, I’ve discovered a lightness to living and the ability to be truly authentic. I’m rediscovering who I am on so many levels. As I learn to love myself better, as a precious child of the Divine, there is room in my life and my heart to connect more deeply with others. Now THAT is truly being of service!

5 Bags of Clarity to Lift the Soul

Posted on by cmryan

It’s not often that I do yard clean-up in late January, especially in Colorado. Time and circumstances as they were this week, I was able to rake and trim one day, then shovel snow the next. I’ve missed doing such yard work in the past couple of years. But based on the accumulation of leaves and debris left behind by former tenants, it won’t be long before I get my quotient filled.

Whenever I spend time raking, collecting, and gathering leaves, it’s very therapeutic for me…even meditative. My hands are busy and productive doing this physical labor. My mind vacillates between planning the day’s “to do” list, listening for Spirit’s direction, and just enjoying the silence between thoughts.

On this particular day my thoughts focused primarily on insights I had received earlier that morning. I have been praying for clarity for several weeks. I am ready to accept direction and purpose for my life, specifically in regard to intellectual projects that have been drifting through my mind for years. Like the layers of leaves and debris I was now raking, I am ready to tidy up and simplify a myriad of ideas, projects, and career directions.

By the time I completed the small front yard project, I had collected five large bags of plant debris. I had also created titles for five key writing projects and identified my role in developing five separate income streams. Spirit definitely likes a void! Clean out the old and the Divine Creator will fill it up with better and more! My prayers had finally been answered: I had clarity.

While it might seem that I’ve only made more work for myself, none of the new writing projects or financial sources needs to be created today or even simultaneously. Identifying and writing them down gives me structure, comfort, direction, and focus for the long-term. Frankly, the creation of one supports the life of another. For example, writing and publishing a book establishes an author, just as doing research for my doctorate will require some travel/vacation time with my husband.

I’m not ready to establish schedules or timelines for completing these lists of five. Several of them are already in various stages of progress. However, I find satisfaction in recognizing that I’ve been moving forward in their creation for many years, and that continuing on this track – albeit with more clarity – will keep me occupied for years to come. I find that having direction brings me incredible comfort and motivation. I absolutely know that focused intention will accelerate a successful completion of each treasured purpose.

Just for today…I turn my attention to finally cleaning up my office. I discard everything that no longer serves my highest vision and purpose. I make space for organizing future endeavors. And I welcome into my consciousness the peace and joy and uplifting energy of expressing my life to its fullest possibilities. With God as my partner, I cannot fail!

 

Freedom To Be Me

Posted on by cmryan

The more I learn about who I am, the more I yearn to express fully as me. This may not seem like such a difficult undertaking, yet for someone who has focused on work first for most of her life, this is not an easy or simple undertaking. The most familiar way for me to express is through my work. Any alternative is challenging, and sometime feels very foreign. I find my freedom through my work – whether it’s for payment or pleasure.

I discovered in my early teen years, that by going out into the work world, I was not so easily relied upon to take care of younger siblings (four of them). I found it easier – and more palatable to my sense of independence – to go to school, work part-time, and pay room-and-board at home, than to be a teenager in the house, taking care of little ones, and being under the scrutiny of my parents. Working gave me a little money for my own spending, yes. But more than that, working gave me freedom!

Being in the workforce so early in life (babysitting at 9, restaurant at 14, bartender and office worker at 18, etc.) planted seeds of a workaholic behavior to which I now pay close attention. It’s often difficult for me to slow down or find balance in life. I dream of extended vacations, but I don’t often take them. Instead, I do refreshing mini-retreats each day through meditation, reading, and tasks that require minor brain energy. It’s a beginning toward greater experiences.

The act of working gave me the opportunity to discover how I fit into society, the world. I discovered I learned quickly, retained and honed skills easily by challenging myself through accepting tasks of greater difficulty, and was (am) able to complete projects efficiently through constantly improving production processes (specifically, desktop publishing, editing, and marketing tasks).

It’s interesting to observe how much I expect of myself. However, when I get lost in the creative flow of a project, humming along and losing track of time, it doesn’t feel like work. It feels like a graceful dance, a euphoric ballet, or high-energy hip-hop routine. I’m in the flow of Spirit; it’s Oneness in action. My time and energy become an easy give-and-take of talent and a creative expression of years of finely-honed skills. There’s a mental committee urging me on, encouraging me to challenge the status quo…watching my progress as I stretch myself and reach beyond previous levels of achievement.

These are moments of freedom to be me. I determine with a somewhat critical eye if I’ve done my best…at least, this time…where I can improve…and how I can explore diverse interests. I get to dig deep into my years of experience, get lost in a puzzle of complexity, and come up with answers or ideas that resolve a riddle or challenge. Then, I take a breath, turn around, and look for another set of questions that has no answers.

In that break between focuses, no matter how long it lasts, there is freedom to dream new creations, new endeavors, new accomplishments that bring new skills…and the cycle continues with great anticipation…the freedom to express as me!

Detoxing My Demeanor

Posted on by cmryan

A couple of weeks ago I came down with a seasonal flu or cold or something viral. It kept me in bed for two days (sort of), sleeping and eating vegetables and fruits as much as possible so my body could heal. I love that about the human body. It KNOWS how to fight off infections, viruses, bacteria, etc. if we only provide it with the proper conditions for healing….rest, water, nutrients, positive intention.  So that was my goal. My body recovered pretty fast (I don’t make a very good patient anyway).

While in bed resting, I watched a couple of documentary films about food and healing that included the process of “juicing.” Great idea! In an effort to assist my body back to a healthy state, I started juicing raw fruits and vegetables. You see, I also lost a bit of weight during those five days of illness and I’d prefer they stayed lost. Juicing allows me to take in the nutrients and not the bulk, so I can actually “eat” several helpings of the good stuff – like we’re instructed to do. I am mixing wonderful flavors and really enjoying the added energy, convenient preparation and cleanup, and the variety of foods I now consume. I also started taking 30-minute walks. More excess weight is going away and I’m detoxing in the process.

I wish I could say the process was as quick and effective when it came to my mental attitude in the midst of unnecessary confrontation or challenge. Is there a way to detox my demeanor, too?

I don’t like using the excuse of “I’m not feeling well” as the reason for my occasional sour disposition. I know better. And I certainly don’t like placing blame on others for their rude manners, condescending attitudes, or sarcastic remarks. There are times when I struggle to just let such behavior flow past me or when I’m moved to stop the onslaught and say something. Lately, I’ve been “responding” rather than being reserved. It’s the responses I’d like to change.

Someone reminded me recently how much they “hate” being talked to like they were stupid. I share that sentiment. Yet, I have to catch myself in those challenging moments to not fling back this same stinging dialogue. My ego-self goes into instant defense mode…before my God-self can take a breath, think, and respond – either with silence (for there is power there, too) or with a calm, respectful statement. I don’t like my defensiveness any more than I like being brushed aside. That’s where the detoxing of my mental state, demeanor, comes in. And that is where the simple act of taking a breath may be the key solution.

Just like the juicing machine takes out all the bulk from the raw foods and provides only the juicy nutrients in an easy-to-digest liquid form, taking a breath (or two) before speaking in those tense situations can remove the sarcasm and hurtful sting from words hurled at an unsuspecting target.  A simple breath can cleanse the mind (detox), provide a few seconds of silence (power), and allow only the juicy, respectful, easy-to-accept expression (nutrients) of who you are to be heard and understood. It lowers the negative energy in those tense situations and creates a pool of calm for everyone involved.

Divine Spirit recognizes and connects one person to another, if only for a micro-second, and healing occurs. I feel better already.

Great Expectations

Posted on by cmryan

You wouldn’t think that the turning of a calendar page would make that much difference. The exception is the transition from the last day of the year to the first. Starting another year seems to open up people to all kinds of new possibilities. Suddenly, within 24 hours, life is filled with great expectations of promise and potential. I can feel it in myself as well.

My focus is on what lies ahead. I am invigorated with the possibilities of what I might create, where I may go, who will introduce themselves into my life, and how the world will unfold. As I tend to be a bit of a techno-geek, I’m truly interested in what software, gadgets and conveniences will be revealed to the world in the next few months. Besides the people and things that will come into my life, I also get to look forward to how I will grow and express as who I Am.

The eternal supply of ideas that comes into my brain is sure to drop a few into the soil of my conscious mind and passionate heart. Those plans that have not yet been developed need to remain strong and sturdy to root more deeply in creation…in thought. For example, I reviewed a few pages from a 2007 journal to discover seedling ideas that still merit development, but that I had put on the back burner so long ago, they’ve nearly dried up in the dark recesses of my memory. It’s a good thing I write some things down!

It’s not only the promising expectations of “doing” that capture my attention, but also the potential of who or what I will become (“be”). A recent meditation, in which I was directed to ask Divine Intelligence for gifts that would greatly benefit me on the next stage of my journey, resulted in three key characteristics I thought I already possessed…at least to some degree…but apparently am still in short supply of having: maturity, patience, and humility.

Not only did Spirit provide the answer with amazing speed, but as it caused my ego edgy discomfort and a bit of argument, my heart knew it was the correct answer. Yes, I have focused on deepening these characteristics in recent years and have made great progress. But are we ever really finished? If we’re honest with ourselves, there is always something more we can do to be a better human in this world.

I have great expectations of myself, it’s true. As I make my way into a new (dual) career move, give some attention to personal projects, spend time with family and friends, continue to create a life and home I love, and learn how to have balance in my life, the development of these three, strong characteristics will be at the forefront of my mind.

All of creation starts with a thought…and this, for today, is mine.

My Own Christmas Day

Posted on by cmryan

This may be a radical idea, especially coming out just two days after December 25. In fact, I’ll bet it brings up considerable resistance within the psyche of anyone who reads this. Change usually does.

First, let me say that having everyone celebrate the same holidays on the same days or schedules each year is an ideal way to bring structure to society. It serves a purpose and keeps things orderly. It allows American companies to provide employees days off through the designation of specific holiday dates each year. Everyone focuses on the same celebration at the same time. In that acknowledgment there is unity and oneness – a nice feeling to have with your neighbor or relative.

I think this form of order works quite well for recognizing political or societal holidays. I have a different opinion in regard to the rigidity of spiritually-based celebrations. For example, I propose to recognize the Spirit of Christmas in April or August. No more December 25. In fact, we could move this spiritual holiday to a different month each year, just to be sure folks are paying attention to the Spirit of the Season. Why you ask? Why make such a drastic suggestion?

Think about it. From Halloween to New Year’s Day it’s just one party or get-together after another. People get worn out from all that traveling and partying and gift buying in a short two-month span. Why not spread out the celebrations a bit? We could easily move Thanksgiving and Christmas to other times of the year…to those months when there’s not a lot going on in the way of connecting with one another.

Christmas in August would be ideal! There’d be less weather-related issues for traveling (no snow). You could combine buying the new academic year’s school clothes as Christmas presents (practical and money-saving). There’d be a lot more contemplation time in December to prepare all those resolutions due by January 1st. You wouldn’t have two major, end-of-year holiday celebrations just eight days apart (loss of employee productivity with all that time off). And with all the thought and attention placed on getting just the right Christmas gift and being with those you care about, you would be able to connect with them in the middle of the year (plus end-of-year holidays) and distribute the love more evenly throughout the months rather than focus on the last 65 days of the calendar.

This year our family purposely down-sized the commercial expectations that have built up over the years. Through that effort, we found we had a lot less stress about the whole Christmas event, we were freer to give from the heart and not the wallet, and we’ve started seeing or calling each other without the Christmas impetus. We’re talking to each other about life and having fun. We don’t need to have a designated date to make plans to visit. We can choose our own special days to connect. And that’s a very spiritual thing to do.

We recognize the Love more easily – no tree decorations in the way, no fancy meals to cook, no special trips to arrange – unless we choose to. We decide…when to call up and say “hello” or “I was thinking about you.” We decide…if it’s a day to spend with family or friends or both. We decide…to bring that sharing and giving consciousness to each other or to strangers along the way…and we can do it EVERY day. We express our loving God/Christ-nature EVERY day. And isn’t that the message we should be sharing?

There you have it. My slightly radical idea to have our own designated and personal Christmas day. If we celebrate the Spirit of Christmas on a regular basis, would we really miss doing it in December? What a fun surprise this will be for my family next year. I really can’t wait for Christmas!

Birthday Thoughts

Posted on by cmryan

My birthday is this week. I’m almost at the end of another decade. I’ve been sick for a few days, too, so my perspective on life has been a bit skewed. It’s just a nasty cold or something; enough to put me on the pity potty every once in awhile, though I’m determined not to stay there long enough that it leaves rings. My focus has been a bit off. In the midst of my whining this morning, I received a reminder that put things in clearer perspective and shut me up at the same time.

My infant grandson was at the hospital this morning, having minor outpatient surgery. Due to my own coughing and runny nose, I couldn’t be there to help or be part of providing comfort – to child or parents. A friend in another state was having major surgery on his heart – a 6- to 8-hour procedure – that had been quickly scheduled to help him avoid any unexpected heart attacks. There have been devastating crimes across the world this past week, too. And I was complaining about coughing and sneezing?

I need to stay in gratitude. At least I get to HAVE a birthday again. My body is already on the mend through rest, nutrition and time, plus a few herbal cold remedies. I’ll get back to my full routine shortly. Any stress I want to bring on myself is waiting in the wings. I think that’s an important awareness lately – I can attract whatever level of stress and anxiety I desire in my life…or not. If I hold onto anger, all I do is get more angry and ride the downward spiral to emotional oblivion. That’s not how I want to live my life. That’s not the place from where I can make decisions for Good. It’s just too debilitating to live in that negative space. Maybe that’s how this week’s illness got a foothold; it found an opening in my self-pity and wants to prolong feelings of victimhood. Not today, thank you!

My grandson is already on the road to recovery; he’s quite a tough little guy. He hasn’t had any of the after-surgery issues his parents were warned about. As for my distant friend, the prognosis is good, too. Surgery went well. The road to recovery will be long, but he will recover. And tomorrow I will be one step closer to experiencing the perfection of breathing without pain or coughing or sneezing and wheezing. I’ll be able to get through the day with perhaps only one nap instead of two or three. Plus, it’ll be my birthday.

I’ll have the day to reflect and contemplate…how far I’ve come and where do I want to go from here? Do I like who I am…who I’m becoming? I notice I’m stronger, more authentic, compassionate, tolerant, more loving and forgiving … of myself and others. As long as I remember this about myself, it allows me to face the ugliness, anger and fear of the world with more courage and objectivity. As long as I stay focused on the inherent Good of Life, I can recover from pain more quickly so I can truly be a more positive influence in the world and for my family.

My personal mission is to “Learn, Teach and Serve” …from a Spiritual source and with Power for Good. That, now, will be my mantra and focus. Next year, we’ll review and see how far I’ve come. Happy Birthday to me!