Tag: relationship

L is for Love and so much more! … Spirituality A to Z

Posted on by cmryan

L-O-V-E is one of those four-letter words that carries a power all its own. Its impact on your mind and heart can be determined by recent or past experiences and relationships. In the human realm the idea of love can often be a fleeting one…here today, maybe gone tomorrow – or at least in a few years. Even love of ourselves can be conditional if it’s based on how we’re feeling about ourselves physically, emotionally, financially, or spiritually. And yet, there’s more to love than this elusive nature we often give it.

Love, with a capital “L,” the one that relates to the eternal and Divine Nature that is God and that also resides in each of us…is always present…never fails…never waivers…never gives up, but is always giving. This Love is eternal within us. Yes, we can sometimes obliterate its presence from our awareness, but it never leaves us and is always seeking expression in some way through us.

How many of us have gone through a relationship break-up and sworn never to love again? …until we’re in the company of a puppy or an infant puppies2_whiteand we start goo-goo’ing with baby talk all over the place. Love. Have you ever worked your way out of an angry moment or event by cleaning up the house or garage or garden? …and then you stand back to admire your work and realize how good you feel about yourself. Love. There are many ways to reconnect with or awaken that deep Love within. You can play the piano, sew a garment, paint a wall or canvas, watch your favorite movie, read a special book, listen to great music, look through a photo album, take a walk in nature, hold hands with a loved one, cuddle up in a warm bed, meditate, or gaze across the ocean or from a mountain top. Love.

Rekindling Divine Love – if that be the case for you from time to time – does not require being in human relationship with another. Divine Love is the connection and deep sense of belonging we can and do share with God. Love, as God, wants to express through us in a multitude of ways and depths. Love, as God, knows only Oneness and Good, and desires us to experience the same.

Yet we can choose whom we will love on this earthly plain, and how much or how little we give to each one or ourselves. We decide who or what gets our attention. We can inventory our Spiritual center, the core of Love within each of us, and portion it out. We choose who gets close to us and how much we share of ourselves and our Divine Nature. But Love never stops trying to express.

The thing is…when our best and deepest Love (that is God) is awakened in that soulful center within, we will never know a sense of loss or pain. puppy_whiteAny human connection is temporal at best…we will all leave this physical life at one time or another. So Love to the fullest. Enjoy heart-to-heart connections. Peer into the deep knowingness of another and express your true and authentic self as well. You are never alone, never abandoned, when Spirit is your all-powerful and eternal Love. Truly, Love is all there is!

The Ever-Present Voice

Posted on by cmryan

A wedding anniversary is a good way of measuring how much we’ve grown…as a couple or as individuals. One area we’ve been particularly focused on improving together is how we manage our finances and resolve our beliefs about money.

While I don’t think of myself as being ignorant about money, it seems to have taken me a long time to handle my financial affairs with the same concern and respect I’ve had when working for others, such as conserving an employer’s resources or maintaining records. I am ever so diligent in those matters. However, I’ve struggled to find a money system that works for me for more than a couple of pay periods. And now that I have, “that voice” is starting to whisper again. But let me back up a bit.

I recognize that my early money management training consisted of little more than properly filling out tax withholding forms when I started a new job, opening a checking account, or trying not to spend more than I made between paychecks. When I first started working (at 14), I may have been advised to “save something” along the way, but the message did not take hold for a few decades … and then some major life experience always seemed to wipe out everything I had accumulated to that point.

Without going into the boring details of life, it’s only been in the past couple of years that I’ve really gotten honest with myself about the way I deal with, handle or think about money and debts. The first real eye-opener came after reading “Secrets of the Millionaire Mind.” I had collected and read numerous books from other financial gurus, designed to change my perception and financial standing, but nothing was as impactful as the questions and exercises posed in that book. Together with my husband, we began to explore our deep-rooted beliefs about money.

I was forced to notice the negative patterns I was repeating and imitating, creating a cycle of financial failure over and over again, whether in relationship or all by myself. Going through the exercises and questions together, forced us to get honest with each other. There was no one to blame; we were responsible for our situation. I was tired of failing at this. I was done with the arguments about money every time the bills had to be paid. There had to be a better way – some way to be successful in how we managed our money. And there was!

Through forgiveness of self for past mistakes, a pledge of rigorous honesty about finances, and a willingness to face my fears while making a serious effort to turn things around, I started educating myself with renewed fervor. I reviewed books about different debt-reduction systems. I shared the information with my husband. We visited financial planners, CPAs and prosperity classes. I’ve been introduced to new mentors. I also created spreadsheets that were more realistic than any previous plans…until we found a formula that worked for where we are, but could evolve with us. We opened our hearts and minds – no more secret stashes or resentment spending. It was time to trust the numbers, each other, and God.

Our consciousness about money has matured – finally! We’re making better decisions about our long-term financial future. After just a few months, man_w_moneybagwe’re seeing significant progress. It feels like we’re getting ahead of the debt without feeling a constant struggle. We’re creatively reducing costs. The money arguments have ended; the fear is gone. I’ve been consistent with my record-keeping efforts, too. And then, today, that old voice came back.

As I was balancing checkbooks, paying bills, and distributing funds amongst accounts, that ever-present voice started whispering. It was bored with saving money…of paying extra funds toward mortgages or credit cards…of cooking meals at home when we could go out. Progress wasn’t happening fast enough, it said. This process was easy, but boring. It wanted the familiar chaos, complication, uncertainty and over-spending of the past.

Frankly, I had forgotten about this scared and doubting part of me. That voice had become so silent during recent success, that it startled me, at first. Once I recognized it as an old way of thinking that no longer worked in this new paradigm of conscious money management, I thanked it for being a clear reminder of how far I’d come in such a short time. I also know I have a long way to go.

I see the potential for significant advancement in my financial understanding and undertakings. It’s not too late to learn…and I know how to learn! The blended system we’re using is working wonderfully; it’s become a routine. There’s no reason to change it. I’m sure part of my past money-handling mistakes was because I didn’t stay with a system long enough to be successful. No more. As long as I can see increased savings and reduced debt on a monthly basis, I’ll continue on this path with great vigor and dedication. More than ever before, I respect and value the money we earn and where it goes.

Someday, I might be a voice of wisdom for my children and grandchildren. But first, I must earn the right to speak.

Discriminating Ideas

Posted on by cmryan

I recently saw a film about a well-known American baseball player in the 1940’s. It depicted the challenges of and racism toward a black athlete entering a strictly white sports team. Some parts of the movie were difficult to watch because the hatred was so clearly portrayed. It didn’t seem to matter to the team’s other players that this rookie was a phenomenal athlete or that the team’s improved standings as a result of his playing would benefit all of them. At least…not a first.

Eventually, much of the initial bigotry and prejudice amongst team members subsided, thanks to a forward-thinking team owner. The ideas associated with general racial discrimination became more specific over time. They became more discriminating about their discrimination. What an idea!

I find it interesting that two words, so similar in form, can be so different in meaning. Discrimination has synonyms like: bias, favoritism, prejudice, bigotry and intolerance. Discriminating, on the other hand, uses words like: sharp, astute, selected, perspective and discerning. Except for the positioning of the final two letters of each word, they’re identical. So where is all this going?

Any discrimination I have faced in life has not been racially based. Religious, yes. Gender, yes. Economic, yes. Nationality, yes. As a result, those experiences have made me more discriminating, whether I’m close to someone or not. For example, I’ve felt the pangs of religious discrimination from family members; it can come from anywhere. That experience had a significant influence on my efforts today to warmly welcome everyone who chooses to explore New Thought teachings and, in particular, our Spiritual community and church.

Much Good for my personal and Spiritual growth has resulted from those past hurts. I am…

  • more selective about what I share about myself or when I voice my opinion. I don’t need to comment on everything.
  • diligent in keeping an open or objective perspective about the world, to be more accepting of people as they are…neutral, non-judgmental. (It takes a little more effort and sharp focus when the people are closer to you in relationship. )
  • able to separate the person (that child of God) from their misbehavior, which has allowed me to practice forgiveness more readily.
  • an astute observer, noticing details about a person’s words, body movements, voice tone, or other communication methods.  As I really see people, I’m able to notice their vulnerability, their authentic Self, and offer compassion and kindness that connects us at a heart-level, a soul-level, where we recognize we are all part of that Divine Oneness.

These are discriminating ideas that I offer to you now as well. If we were to hone our discriminating skills, using the four bullet points above, we might never experience discrimination again. Think about it. Isn’t it about time?

 

Face-to-Face & Heart-to-Heart

Posted on by cmryan

Those folks who spend any length of casual time with me or friends who know me well will acknowledge my kinship with communication technology (e.g., tablet, laptop, email, texting, social media, etc.). I’ve always been somewhat of a geeky introvert (yes, I have) so these forms of “talking” or staying in touch with people have been my favored or preferred methods of contact. I enjoy writing and playing with words. Just because I have a smartphone doesn’t mean I use it for conversation; it provides my link to email accounts, texts and the Internet. However, lately I’ve been increasing my personal face-to-face contact with people and with surprising results.

“If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart.” ~ Nelson Mandela

I’m sure part of my past hesitation to communicate verbally stems from being hushed as a child. The adage “Children should be seen and not heard” was a constant reminder that I had not yet earned the right to speak with any wisdom or knowledge of life. I developed a fondness for collecting quotations that expressed what I could not find the words to say. I carried the idea of being reserved into adulthood for many years, speaking only when I truly felt passionate about a particular situation, injustice, cause or favorite topic. Then, perhaps not so oddly, I majored in Communication at university and now speak every week before a growing congregation. My writing, speaking and teaching topics are all spiritual in nature. What isn’t?

“When we talk about understanding, surely it takes place only when the mind listens completely – the mind being your heart, your nerves, your ears – when you give your whole attention to it.” ~Jiddu Krishnamurtiheart

What I have discovered to be my biggest aid in communicating with people is…(drum roll, please)…to be authentic…to come from my God-Self and not my ego-self. As long as I let go of all the concerns of what people will think, how they will react to what I say, how cleverly I present the message, how long I go on, whether they understand (or not) the words I use – as long as I release all those thoughts and speak from my heart or pause in silence – the meaning will be understood. Sometimes, such “speaking” comes from just being present in their presence…to hold a sacred space where they, too, can be their authentic selves.

“We have two ears and one tongue so that we would listen more and talk less.” ~Diogenes

Some of my favorite moments have been sitting with a friend, lost in our individual thoughts, connected at the heart-level, and joined in the spirit of the moment. I’ve done that quite often this week, relating with people I’ve just met, known for a few months, or with friends whose lives have mingled with mine for decades. It takes more effort to meet face-to-face and share heart-to-heart; no doubt about it. I come home from these experiences gently used and deeply satisfied, content to have been part of someone’s journey for part of a day or to help with some form of healing. I’d like to think their experiences are as positive as mine. I know that being in their presence has revealed in me a desire to do more of this type of “talking.” I am grateful for the soul exchange and want to attract more of them.

“Sometimes it’s a form of love just to talk to somebody that you have nothing in common with and still be fascinated by their presence.” ~ David Byrne

As I go through my work day with technology and assorted gadgets, messaging for the sake of efficiency, writing on the computer rather than long-hand, I’m drawn to my phone. I open my contacts database and peruse the list for the name and number of someone dear to call after work. I pull out my note cards and write a message to go with the package to be mailed. The note cards provide just the right amount of space for generous love and few words. I complete my tasks quickly and efficiently so that, when the next opportunity presents itself to hold sacred space for a dear friend, I will be ready to do so…with a smiling face and a loving heart.

“Talk low, talk slow, and don’t say too much.” ~ John Wayne

Decadent Self-Care (a Spiritual practice, I’m sure of it)

Posted on by cmryan

LIst_todoI’ve gotten a little behind in my self-assigned tasks. I keep track of things like that. Lists help. There’s no one to blame and I’m not feeling all that guilty, either. The truth is I’m starting to experience a more balanced life (a Spiritual practice) and schedule, including having some creative/hobby time, recreational activities, and feeling rested. This can be attributed, in part, to the fact that we bought a new bed… actually two. Let me explain how it’s impacting my schedule…in a very positive way.

My husband and I will celebrate …[getting calculator]…16 years of marriage in a couple of months. The very first piece of furniture we bought together back then was an Amish oak, Mission-style queen bed frame and mattress set. Mattresses come and go, but the bed frame has been a centerpiece in our marital life. We bought it together and, like our relationship, it is strong, secure, and will last for many, many years.  Our sleeping habits, on the other hand, have changed since the honeymoon.

This awareness came unexpectedly a couple of months ago during a period of illness – we both came down with the flu and chose to sleep in separate beds until our fevers and coughs subsided enough so we could sleep together again. I wasn’t hit with the virus as hard as my husband was, so I chose to sleep in the guest room and use a small, twin bed we had placed there.

The experience made me realize how small a twin bed had become since my childhood days.  However, sleeping alone on a twin bed actually gave me more space than being crowded over to the edge of a queen bed. I took measurements. The twin mattress was 36 inches wide. I made comparisons. A regular twin is normally 39 inches wide or about one-half the size of a king bed, which ranges from 76 to 80 inches wide. Our queen bed mattress is 60 inches.

I’d become accustomed to being in about one-third of our mattress space during the past few years. I don’t call it sleeping – not really. Between our snoring contests, blanket-tugging wars, and my hot flashes, sleep had become something I did for two or three hours at the most, wake up for awhile, and start again. Not a lot of “rest” in there, but the disturbances had become the norm. Then I got to experience a full 36 inches of mattress – all to myself – and I began to notice how deeply I slept and how refreshed I was the next day, barring the flu symptoms. I recovered rapidly and I began formulating a plan. No longer would I be happy with 20 inches of sleeping space for the rest of my life. Changes were about to be made.

new_bed_021913I had all the measurements of various bed sizes. We visited a couple of stores to test out different mattress styles and sizes. I presented an idea to my dear husband, and after lengthy consideration over a period of weeks, we purchased TWO full-size mattress sets – one of his choice and one of mine – and placed them side-by-side in our bedroom. Now we each have our “own” bed with 54 inches of space to roll around in…108 inches of total AWESOME and decadent self-care! (again, Spiritual – I’m sure of it!)

I have been sleeping more soundly than I have in years. If a hot flash warrants blanket fanning, I know it won’t wake up my snoring husband…and he’s so far away on the other side of the bed acreage, that I don’t hear him that much anyway. We reach out our hands (or a foot) across the sheet to validate the presence of the other, comforted in knowing our loved one is near, peacefully sleeping close by, sort of.  It sure beats sleeping in separate rooms (as we’ve heard older folks sometimes do in their maturing years).

While we still need to work on further customizing comforters and headboards, we look forward to early bedtimes and sleeping later whenever we can. We’re thinking about moving a coffee pot upstairs, too. It won’t be long before this bedroom suite beats any 5-star hotel. I’m sure there are plenty of other features and décor items we can add to make it a place to spend the weekend (or at least a long Saturday morning). I think I’ll sleep on it for awhile.

Family Love

Posted on by cmryan

Sometimes a commercial holiday can be beneficial in triggering us (me) to think about its particular theme, such as Valentine’s Day being about Love. While I’ve been truly blessed to spend parts of the day with a devoted husband and loving children and grandchildren, many thoughts about love today centered on those I’ve not seen in years…members of my family of origin.

I may have mentioned this in an earlier writing, about being the oldest of five siblings and leaving home (and the state) when I was 19. I traded the Midwest for the West Coast and an early marriage. My three brothers and one sister were all still in school; the two youngest were still in grade school as they are 11 and 12 years younger than me. Not only were we years apart in age and maturity, but as a result of my moving away, I never really knew them as individuals. I still don’t.

Life being what it was, I rarely went back to visit, but I did make the effort a few times over the years and am glad I did. There were no big family reunions. My parents didn’t travel or take big vacations. My mom has never visited my home.  It took nearly 40 years before my dad finally came to see where I lived. He stayed for five weeks. That was one of the most special, sharing events of my life. We now have conversations several times a week.

That’s not true for my siblings, however. Our interests and lifestyles are vastly different. We live in three or four different states with one or two having outdated addresses or no interest in making contact. I talk with one brother once or twice a year; another every couple of years; and the third maybe once a decade. I’m not sure where my sister is living or how to reach her. Even if I did, I’m not sure it’d be a good idea; she doesn’t seem to like me much.

The few conversations shared amongst the five of us over the years have been about feelings of abandon­ment, jealousy over the distribution of family possessions, reliving early childhood memories or family celebrations, catching up on where our adult children are living or how many grandchildren we have, what to do about aging parents, and hoping everyone is able to stay working and caring for themselves sufficiently for as long as possible. Not the healthiest types of relationships, to say the least.

While we share family bloodlines, it seems rather strange to declare real “love” for people I hardly know. Frankly, we’ve all had such separate lives for so long, it feels quite artificial to initiate any kind of meaningful relationship now…and yet I feel such a deep sense of loss. It may be time to try again.

I don’t regret leaving home at a young age. (My father actually encouraged me to go.) I like the person I’ve become through the experiences Life provided. My world is full of love from a blended and extended step-family, children, grandchildren, and friends. I promote regular family gatherings with our children and insist we communicate and share in each other’s lives. I want them to know the importance of such family connections…to learn about one another as adult individuals…to experience family love with their brothers and sisters. Maybe, someday, I will, too.

My Own Christmas Day

Posted on by cmryan

This may be a radical idea, especially coming out just two days after December 25. In fact, I’ll bet it brings up considerable resistance within the psyche of anyone who reads this. Change usually does.

First, let me say that having everyone celebrate the same holidays on the same days or schedules each year is an ideal way to bring structure to society. It serves a purpose and keeps things orderly. It allows American companies to provide employees days off through the designation of specific holiday dates each year. Everyone focuses on the same celebration at the same time. In that acknowledgment there is unity and oneness – a nice feeling to have with your neighbor or relative.

I think this form of order works quite well for recognizing political or societal holidays. I have a different opinion in regard to the rigidity of spiritually-based celebrations. For example, I propose to recognize the Spirit of Christmas in April or August. No more December 25. In fact, we could move this spiritual holiday to a different month each year, just to be sure folks are paying attention to the Spirit of the Season. Why you ask? Why make such a drastic suggestion?

Think about it. From Halloween to New Year’s Day it’s just one party or get-together after another. People get worn out from all that traveling and partying and gift buying in a short two-month span. Why not spread out the celebrations a bit? We could easily move Thanksgiving and Christmas to other times of the year…to those months when there’s not a lot going on in the way of connecting with one another.

Christmas in August would be ideal! There’d be less weather-related issues for traveling (no snow). You could combine buying the new academic year’s school clothes as Christmas presents (practical and money-saving). There’d be a lot more contemplation time in December to prepare all those resolutions due by January 1st. You wouldn’t have two major, end-of-year holiday celebrations just eight days apart (loss of employee productivity with all that time off). And with all the thought and attention placed on getting just the right Christmas gift and being with those you care about, you would be able to connect with them in the middle of the year (plus end-of-year holidays) and distribute the love more evenly throughout the months rather than focus on the last 65 days of the calendar.

This year our family purposely down-sized the commercial expectations that have built up over the years. Through that effort, we found we had a lot less stress about the whole Christmas event, we were freer to give from the heart and not the wallet, and we’ve started seeing or calling each other without the Christmas impetus. We’re talking to each other about life and having fun. We don’t need to have a designated date to make plans to visit. We can choose our own special days to connect. And that’s a very spiritual thing to do.

We recognize the Love more easily – no tree decorations in the way, no fancy meals to cook, no special trips to arrange – unless we choose to. We decide…when to call up and say “hello” or “I was thinking about you.” We decide…if it’s a day to spend with family or friends or both. We decide…to bring that sharing and giving consciousness to each other or to strangers along the way…and we can do it EVERY day. We express our loving God/Christ-nature EVERY day. And isn’t that the message we should be sharing?

There you have it. My slightly radical idea to have our own designated and personal Christmas day. If we celebrate the Spirit of Christmas on a regular basis, would we really miss doing it in December? What a fun surprise this will be for my family next year. I really can’t wait for Christmas!

If Today Was My Last…

Posted on by cmryan

In one of our spiritual classes, we learn about the benefits of mindfulness. It’s a practice that applies not only during meditation, but also in our practical, daily lives. To see clearly what is before you… preferably without attachment or judgment… to objectively see “what is.”

I was gifted this experience most profoundly while caring for my infant grandson. He finally fell asleep by my side as we rested on a comfortable chaise near a sunlit window. At first I occupied my busy mind with mundane electronic games to pass the time until he would eventually awake. Then his baby snores caught my attention and focus. His steady breathing, the fresh baby smell at the top of his head, the touch of his little hand on my arm…all these gave me clarity to see the gift we were to each other in that moment, just by being aware of his presence in my life. Time stood still and silent.

I thought, “If today was my last day of life, this is how I would choose to spend part of it… in such a moment as this.” It was clear to me that I would choose to fill up my final hours with the joy of being alive and being with those I love… to be gifts to one another.

As we cuddled in the quiet, my mind moved on to other ways I would spend my last day in this physical realm… chatting with granddaughters about their school days and dreams… discussing with my sons and daughters the meaning of life, the importance of love, and encouraging them to always seek spiritual and personal growth… sending out one more message to all my family and friends about how wonderful they are and how much they add to my life… taking a walk in my neighborhood in the cool of the day… pointing out where all the important papers are… playing the piano… giving away cherished items… playing tug-of-war with my dog… and having dinner with my husband, teasing and laughing together as we often do, sharing one last embrace as the sun goes down and the moon rises…

Not once did I think of extravagant trips to far-away lands or daredevil acts to perform. There was no fear or sadness. There was no place else I thought of going…only “being” in that moment next to this little soul. Only feeling love and wonder! It is forever etched in my mind and heart.

The greatest awareness of this experience is realizing I am already doing these things. I choose to do something every day to fully express my joy and gratitude in being alive… in connecting with Life. While I am not anxious to leave this physical realm any earlier than necessary, I am content with my existence and purpose, and with the person I have become, knowing my evolution is not yet complete… nor will it ever be. And, yes, I am now more mindful… more loving… more grateful… more aware… more Spirit.

 

Relationships

Posted on by cmryan

It doesn’t matter who you are, where you live, or the life you are creating…you will be in relationship with someone at sometime. Your very life began as a result of the physical relationship of your parents. The end of your life may include the care of those who are not your family. Yet the most important relationship to consider, which you will no doubt reflect upon during your final days if not before, is the one you have with yourself…your human personality or ego self with your spiritual or God-Self.

You are always the common denominator in any relationship of your life. Think about that? In fact, here are a few questions to consider:

  • If you are experiencing negativity or irritation or some other type of low-quality feeling with the majority of the people in your life, is it really them?
  • Would the people in your life be more welcome to you if ALL of them just changed?
  • Or is it your perspective and attitude that needs the adjustment?
  • What is the ‘quality’ of your relationships with others?
  • How do you view yourself?
  • Would you want YOU for a friend?

I am about to leave my place of employment where I’ve been for nearly two years. During this time, I’ve taken little initiative to get to know many of the people here. In fact, far more people know who I am than I do them. Our work tasks do not mingle, we’re on different floors, work different schedules, etc. It is what it is.

On the other hand, of those few people I do know and interact with regularly, the depth of most interactions has been very shallow. We’ve not gone out lunch together or shared a coffee break. Topics of conversation have centered on work or the company the majority of the time. This approach is partly due to the solitary environment in which I’ve been working, as well as my less-than-enthusiastic desire to be here. I am responsible for the way I isolated myself so as not to get too involved, which could have impacted my decision to leave or focus on a new career direction, but resolved an inner conflict I found easier to avoid than to face.

It is only now that, with the decision made to leave and my last day of working here clearly in view, I am taking the time to share of myself and they with me. Oh, what I have missed!  We have shed tears together, shared dreams, told stories, solved world problems, and laughed about so many things. Whether we continue our new, deeper relationships after my departure from this job remains to be seen.   

While I have some regret of not making this effort earlier in my tenure here, I have learned, again, a valuable lesson of living, connecting, and being present in the now moment of livingness…to recognize the preciousness of our earthly relationships and the value they offer to our spiritual consciousness. Whether it be for a moment in the check-out line, daily interaction with the people at work, or how you live with yourself from the inside-out, the quality of your relationships is up to you…and you alone.

 

Tell Me What You Want…

Posted on by cmryan

At first glance this title may suggest that I’m asking someone what they want so I can help fulfill that desire. Actually, this is far from the meaning. While I am more than willing to assist, pray and encourage others to fulfill their dreams and goals, it is no longer in my nature to do it for them.

What this title is asking is that you be direct with me (and others)…that you speak honestly, authentically and from the heart…with compassion and respect, of course. Rest assured that I will do the same with you. A slogan I learned years ago states: “Honesty without compassion is brutality.”

When a person speaks Truth (based on principle, objectively and from their God-self), it’s much easier to hear, too. All the excuses or whining, the reasons why-not, and the justifications for being unkind, just seem to disappear and fall away. The words and emotions of Truth are more recognizable because they’re in all of us. It’s the human drama details that get in the way of us communicating effectively with one another.

I want to hear what you want to say…at the gut level, from the heart. Tell it to me straight the first time. Don’t give me a story now because you think that’s what I want to hear, and then later change the information or avoid the topic (and me) altogether. Tell me what you really want to say…what you really want to create in your life, in our relationship. I may not like the specific words used or the decision you make, but I accept your right to choose and I will heal whatever pain is felt, knowing there is actually love behind your words and actions.

I want to see the real you and the situation for what it is…not what I (or you) hope it might be…maybe…someday. I want to know the substance of who you are in this moment. I want to know you at the soul level. We are connected much more than we realize; we share a common Life Force. Truly, we are One. Whatever you say to me, you will hear as well. Your soul will. My heart will. Speak Truth and Principle and Love for one another…and tell me what you want.