Tag: decision

Many Hats…One Design

Posted on by cmryan

During a recent prayer session with a practitioner student, I was gifted with clarity into a behavioral habit I’ve developed rather consciously over the past couple of decades. I’m happy to say that the inspiration from that session included a resolution to make significant changes…to create and live a new way of being.

My approach to life has always been to have a backup plan. In this way, I have a “back door” escape, just in case the idea fails, plans don’t work out, or people let me down. What this has done, however, is to keep me from FULLY engaging in life. I participate, but only at a surface level. Sometimes it even allows me to hide out from life. Since I’m not totally engaged, there’s less chance of getting hurt, feeling failure, or even taking full responsibility – good or bad – for whatever the results might be. This approach, I reasoned, protected my heart and feelings from pain and disappointment of my own shortcomings or those of other people involved. Fortunately, I’m not operating from this perspective any longer.

The other related behavior, and which I have become very good at carrying out, is “changing hats.” I can speak to one person about marketing projects and deadlines, another about financial administration or team communication, another about massage and wellness tips, and still someone else about options to their spiritual path. In each case, I would put on “my hat” for each appropriate role (marketing professional, business manager, massage therapist, or minister and teacher, respectively), and then spoke from that perspective. I began to notice that my voice tone changed depending on which “hat” I was wearing or what needed to be addressed. I projected different personas. Many of us do this; there’s nothing really wrong with this communication technique. It’s just not the way I choose to express who I am any longer.

The truth is, I have all these capabilities bundled up inside this one magnificent being of spirit, brain and body – known as me. I’ve lived long enough to accumulate academic education, worldly knowledge, and wisdom from life experiences that give me some expertise in certain matters.  What I don’t know about something I can learn or rely on experts to advise me. I know that I don’t know all there is to know – and I’m okay with that.

The change I’m making – and what I’ve recently been inspired to do through powerful prayer and meditation practices – is to come from Source in all situations…to lead with the heart, with love. This means coming from my authentic, spiritual, heart-centered, compassionate, and strong nature God-self. I have all the Power of God available to my every thought and prayer, as much as I’m willing to accept. I trust with absolute certainty that the life I’m living is filled with Good and Love, no matter how it might look in the moment. I know the person I’m becoming will continue to evolve through all eternity, in one form or another. The only way I can hurt is if I let outside circumstances dominate and control my thinking.

A change of hats is no longer necessary. There is no need for a backup plan. I AM the plan.

Law of Gluten

Posted on by cmryan

As a minister, teacher and student of Universal Principles, immutable Laws that can be proven by anyone, I found myself the subject of painfully proving such a Law recently. Sadly, I allowed my human ego to make the decision in the matter. My body was the test subject and paid the penalty for not listening to that All-Knowing Voice.  Ignoring that Voice about the correct decision resulted in my own demise.  The decision? To eat too much flour-based food in one day.

I have discovered over the past few months that my body has developed an intolerance to gluten in food. Gradually, I have been reducing or eliminating gluten-based foods from my diet. This one decision has had incredible and positive effects on my body. Not only have the negative symptoms gone away, but my cholesterol levels have reduced, energy has increased, and I’m making healthier nutritional decisions for my diet. (If you do a search on the Internet for “gluten symptoms” – such as this site provides: http://glutenfreenetwork.com/faqs/symptoms-treatments/gluten-intolerance-symptoms-how-do-you-know-if-gluten-is-making-you-sick/ – you will get a better picture about this condition.)

Even with all the positive experiences I’ve been having by following this gluten-free practice, there have been times when I cheated on the diet. Just a little…without any major ramifications. However, this week I went too far in cheating. I succumbed to that ego voice that wanted the apple pie… and the tuna sandwich… and the crackers… all in one day. By the time I went to bed that night, my stomach and intestines were in such pain from trying to reject all this gluten-type food, that I spent most of the night and the next morning worshiping the porcelain god. The Law of Gluten reigned supreme!

Just like any Universal Principle, the Law of Gluten doesn’t care who you are… it is no respecter of persons. Anyone with gluten intolerance at the same level as mine, making the same bad decisions, would have similar results. The Law of Gluten is always there, invisible, and ready to be proven. Its effects, when disregarded, are similar in any one who decides to go against this Law. It’s nothing personal… it just is.

I am once again freeing my body (detoxing it) from the effects of this gluten allergy.  As long as I follow the Law of Gluten, I experience growing, positive results. If I disregard this Law, I pay the penalty, the effect, of my ego’s bad decision. I know what to do and which Voice to listen to. I have no one to blame. And it works every time. Perhaps you recognize this principle in yourself… through the Law of Lactose or the Law of Shellfish.

This painful experience has opened up my mind to new laws of nutrition I had never considered before. It also provided me a concrete example of how Spiritual and Universal Laws work in my life… and for everyone else… all the time, whether you pay attention to them or not. Ignorance of these Laws does not stop them from working…nor protect you from their effects or consequences.

Not only do I have a heightened awareness of the rules I will follow knowing the Truth about these Laws (and ALL Universal Principles), but I sleep much better, too.

My name is…and I’m a…

Posted on by cmryan

What do an unkempt yard, garden tools, and a timer have in common? The answer… awareness and inspiration. My time pulling weeds and cleaning up garden debris has brought to the forefront of my awareness an obvious addiction I’ve had for years…perhaps my entire adult life. It’s one that is often welcomed in the professional arena. But before my friends and congregants get too concerned about my problem, let me declare it here and now: I’m a workaholic…on the path to recovery.

During the past two years, I’ve focused on two separate careers. Long hours and extensive commuting have been the priority, excluding me from any kind of real life. Now, having left the distant, full-time office job and turning full-time focus to ministry, teaching and writing while working from home, I’m discovering the challenges of creating my day’s schedule, learning to rest without becoming complacent or distracted (staying motivated), and quieting the voice in my head that constantly tells me I’m not doing enough.

Just recently, I literally forced myself to spend an afternoon on the couch, resting after a busy Sunday morning and watching television with my husband. There was work waiting at my desk (there always is) and projects were clearly visible around the house, in the yard, garage, and especially in my office. The whole time I was on the couch, that ugly voice was whispering how lazy I was….that I wasn’t really tired and didn’t need to sit there…that work – any work – was more important than television (no matter what was on)…that I’d pay for it later…and other things that were much more critical and hurtful. Ego will say whatever it can to keep things static, familiar. It was all I could do to force my restless body to stay seated in the recliner.

I have always known how to work. I learned it at an early age and have been rewarded for my efforts. It’s what I do best. Frankly, resting, taking breaks, or relaxing is where the difficulty lies. Take away my opportunity to work on a project, to solve a problem, to meet a deadline, and it’s like taking away the bottle from an alcoholic or drugs from an addict. In the past, given a choice to work or go to some social event, I’d gladly choose work (in my head). Most always I have two or three or more projects going at the same time. My brain never shuts off and is generally focused on work-related topics. I learned I could rest when the work is done, but it never is. I’d start a 12-Step group in my area, but taking on another task would only add to the problem. (Go to Workaholics-Anonymous.org for symptoms of this addiction.)

As I work on my landscape maintenance projects, something I absolutely love doing, it’s become critical for my health to pace myself. I use a timer…and the “power of an hour.” I give myself one hour each morning to play in the dirt – that’s it. Then I consciously talk myself into cleaning up, putting away the garden tools, bagging up the weeds and yard trash, before going on to the next task (it’s quite a conversation!)…where I set the timer again. If I don’t limit my time in this manner, I have been known to work myself into exhaustion – euphoric with what I’ve visibly accomplished, but unable to move a muscle from all the adrenal push and exhaustion. My body needs the physical exercise and movement, but I don’t need to work myself to death. Yes, it appears I’ve reached bottom.

My ego had been fairly quiet these past two years as I pushed myself through an insane schedule and rationalized it was something I had to do. Now, it’s shouting again. Making the choice to focus on one career and a personal life has not been an easy one for me. I’m seeing me in a glaring light of self-awareness. I’m noticing the difficulty in pacing myself through projects, finding balance on a daily basis, and committing to recovery from this obsessive, addictive behavior. I’ve even begun to set the timer for my rest periods or fun activities, too, so I know when I can get back to work. Baby steps…one day at a time.

I’m ready to enjoy life – every bit of it – family, friends, home, hobbies, fun and relation, time for me, and work – each in its own turn. I’m grateful for all the loving support in this recovery endeavor. It’ll be interest­ing to see who I become through the process. I could go on and on about this, but right now, I’m being called outside to give a six-year-old lessons in tree climbing. See you later.

Good Grief

Posted on by cmryan

I did it! Last week I officially resigned from a “secure” employment position to focus on my ministry and entrepreneurial interests. (Security is a relative term; the company and its employees experienced four lay-offs in less than two years.) I know the timing is perfect for I’ve felt nothing but exhaustion for several days since. There was little physical energy left to continue that insane schedule. However, while I can rationalize or justify the ‘why’ of each emotion or physical feeling, I’ve felt incredible sadness, sleeplessness, and very little motivation to do anything I enjoy…up until now.

I’m convinced that this mix of feelings – mental and physical – is not only a result of the release after working two full-time jobs for nearly two years, but also a form of grief. I have let go a professional role that I have known for more than 30 years. I have supported corporate managers, sales teams, presidents and CEOs. I have provided a set of technical and interpersonal office skills that are not yet developed in the person who just replaced my position. Such development takes time. Fortunately, my skills will always be mine; I can take them with me wherever I go.

In spite of that awareness and the choice I made to leave that job, this is a time to honor the release of a career that, in many ways, I have outgrown. The sadness or grief that has welled up so unexpectedly will pass in time…as does all grief. It is good to experience the low’s so we can better appreciate the high’s. Opposites are a common occurrence in our world. As long as I don’t wallow too long in these lowered feelings, the grief will transform into Good. The mystery is:  into what will it transform? What “phoenix” will arise from the ashes? This is a monumental turning point and one worth remembering!

I have tremendous appreciation for this moment of opportunity…for my husband and partner…for our church congregants and volunteers…for the gifts of talent I have and those yet to discover…for a new career path to fully explore and embrace the Divine. The excitement of creating a larger future, of expressing more of who I am and to serve the world in greater ways, pulls me from this grief to focus on the unlimited possibilities of Life! Where do I start? With gratitude… for all I have and AM in this world, as well as all I AM yet to be.

God is Good…Good is God. And so it is!

Thanksgiving and Release

Posted on by cmryan

The last two of the five steps of a spiritual treatment or prayer in the Science of Mind philosophy are “Thanksgiving” (Gratitude) and “Release” (Letting Go). I find myself focusing on gratitude so much lately, caught in a cycle of total appreciation for what I have and what is happening in my life – and then letting it go…releasing the feeling, the moment, the thing that held my attention – so that I can then find gratitude in the next moment or experience. In this way I am able to know an infinite abundance of experiences and gratitude.

As long as I am living, these experiences will not end. As long as I remain in gratitude, having sincere thanksgiving for all I have, learn and experience, the more Good will find me. I’ve written here before about having an “attitude of gratitude.” The reminder is timely, as I prepare to change careers and the focus of my work in just a few weeks. There is no need to wait months or years to see the good; it is clearly present now.

As I prepare to leave the company where I’ve been employed for nearly two years, I am grateful for the time I’ve spent here. Yes, for the salary it’s provided. But mostly for the people I’ve been privileged to meet here (some of whom have already moved on to other jobs). I can see the benefits of having been a part of this company, of what I have learned, and am proud of the projects I’ve created. It was a fair trade. Now I want something more and different than what is available here. No bad feelings. I have grown and so I choose a new direction. And in that, I am grateful that I have such a choice available to me.

I give great thanks for living in a place, a country, where unlimited opportunities abound, whether it be how to earn an income, where to live or go to school, who to marry, how many children to have, where to shop, religious choice, etc.  As I go through my day, no matter where I am or what I am doing, I am constantly reminded of the blessings I have now and have had throughout my life – even those experiences labeled “bad” eventually revealed their benefits.

As I release one prayer of thanks, another takes it place. So, too, as I depart this job, another opportunity will take its place. Spirit loves a void – so it can be filled with something better, something larger, than what was there before. I look forward with grateful anticipation of what will be created next. My life is filled with joy, love, prosperity and so much more! I let go of the past, even a moment ago in time; it can never be saved; never be repeated or lived again. And, once more, I give thanks for such awareness and move into the next moment.

 

Placeholder

Posted on by cmryan

Within the past couple of days, one word has repeatedly appeared in conversation – placeholder. As I witnessed the repetition of this term, my mind started paying attention to its meaning or alternative meanings. The online dictionaries define it as “words that can refer to objects or people, whose names are unknown or irrelevant” or “a symbol in a mathematical or logical expression that may be replaced by the name of any element of a set.” I began wondering why this felt so significant to me. And then I knew!

First, some background is in order. The first conscious awareness of this word’s importance was at my place of work, regarding the holding of a spot on a website so that documents could later be inserted in the proper order. Next, as my husband and I were reflecting on our recent house move, leaving one home of two years to return to where we’ve lived for over 20 years, it seemed as if the temporary residence never even happened. It was rather a surreal adventure. We were just a “placeholder,” occupying the address until the next residents arrived at the house we no longer desired. We had appreciated our time there; life was full and active. We grew in consciousness, maturity and wisdom. Then it was time to move on, literally.  Finally, as I prepare to leave my job and return to a self-employment venture, I anxiously await news that a successor will soon follow and assume my role and duties.

It occurs to me that we could view our human bodies, our earthly lives, as placeholders, too. Not in the sense of being irrelevant or to be replaced by any element, but as placeholders for our souls. We occupy a role, name or persona that suits us for a time, until a change is accepted, perhaps unwillingly at times. We fill this earthly form for several decades then release it to dust and make a space for those who follow.

Spirit–God or Life Force– lives in and through us to experience this existence as we choose to be in it. The unseen energy or intuition guides us, if we pay attention to it. We are born, grow up, work, play, love and move through Life at whatever pace we prefer or allow. When one experience ends, no matter how long we’ve been expressing in that capacity, another begins…we move on. We are as significant as we desire or imagine ourselves to be. We are placeholders for God in that each of us is a unique expression of the Divine, living and learning and sharing our lessons until it is time to voyage onward.

The important thing is that, while we are here, in whatever place or way we live, we hold the highest and best consciousness for ourselves and the world. We grow our lives right where we’re planted until we hear the call to move on…whether that be to a new home, new job, new relationship, or new form of being. Everything in this physical realm is temporary. Only the Life that fills our bodies and energizes our soul is eternal. The fact that we exist, you and I, is evidence enough that Spirit is holding our place in line for the next great adventure.

 

What You Can Do

Posted on by cmryan

I grew up in an age when mothers stayed home to raise the children and fathers were the primary wage earners. My generation (baby boomers), especially the female population, were just being indoctrinated with the idea of career liberation. For me this was not political revolution but common sense.

Why should anyone be restricted or limited from pursuing a profession or career position simply because of their gender? Or racial background? Or any other identifiable characteristic? If you think you can do it, pursue it – was the message provided by the adults surrounding me.  Thank goodness! This approach applies not only to career aspirations, but to every realm of life conceivable. (The one caveat I include is “as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone” in the process.) In this culture we have the option to explore any job for which we have the skills or are willing to learn. We can develop artistic capabilities, musical talents, aptitudes in technology and science, human or social interests.

Life offers unlimited possibilities in every realm of consciousness. Nature is evidence of this idea. So the reasoning follows that if the Creator (God) has abundantly supplied the universe with innumerable features and beauty, available for all to appreciate and respect, why should we limit ourselves to only one or two modes of creating a life?

Through time and natural evolution new species of animals and plants have come and gone. The same is true for the technological advancements the world continues to produce. We now have items available for purchase that used to be just something seen in a sci-fi movie. After viewing a recent television commercial about an advancement in television technology, I got the feeling that I’d been projected several years (decades?) into the future. It was a bit disconcerting, but awe-inspiring as well. It validated, once more, if you can do it, pursue it!

Question is: what do I want to pursue? I’m never at a loss for new ideas. My challenge most often is deciding which path at what time. There is a cornucopia of opportunities all around you and me, surrounding us. Which one to choose? Where is time best spent? What is the best use of skills and talents? What inspires me or you today…at this stage of life…with what you can do?

There’s no doubt we change as individuals…our interests, our skills, our priorities. While my current day-job provides me with sufficient funds to pay certain bills, it leaves my soul crying for greater expression. (Fortunately, I do explore other heart-supporting endeavors, too.) A recent “personality test” allowed me to answer questions that confirmed it’s time to fulfill both – to earn an income that exceeds my financial obligations AND in a way that satisfies my creative yearnings. I know it exists or I wouldn’t have the idea. If I can think it, God (the Universe) can create it. And with God as my partner, I cannot fail!

What Do You Do?

Posted on by cmryan

It’s interesting how people respond when asked, “What do you do?” Many people start by naming their primary job or occupation, or sharing that they are now retired. However, what I recognize more and more in conversation is that their response is often followed by “but I also…” Perhaps I’m particularly sensitive to noticing this as it has become my habit as well…up until now.

What is it about our culture that we are not content with having only one occupation or job or with being done in the work world? Must we really let everyone know how busy we are at all times? And list all of our hobbies or interests or volunteer activities? Is it our ego that demands such attention to what we do or acknowledgment of what productive citizens we are? Surely our God-Self has no concern about the reply, for that Creative Energy does it all anyway! Or is it because many of us are not satisfied with our primary, income-generating occupation? Is the only way we make a living and find personal satisfaction in life to do this AND something else?

Maybe we just need another way to respond altogether. When asked, “What do you do?”…we might say something like: “I’m creating a fulfilling and happy life.” 

It’s an answer that covers all the bases without a litany of description or excuses. Another nice thing about this response, it doesn’t lock you in to one type of job description. It sets you free to do all that interests you and for which you have talent (or want to develop further)…without justification or validation. This response not only sets an example for others in how to answer such a question, but also opens the door to speak to what interests the inquirer – if they choose to take it to the next step in the conversation. With pin-pointed questions, you can respond to the exact nature of their query.

Our work is not our entire life. While it can be a big portion of it, and while we may need to pursue the “have to” until we find our bliss and the money follows, we can be grateful and happy for all that we are blessed to be doing. Do it with balance. Do it with humility. Do it with joy. What do you do? I’m creating a fulfilling and happy life!