Z is for Zenith… Spirituality A to Z

As I come to the final chapter of this series, I’m again surprised by what Spirit provides as inspiration and how perfect it is. When I think about “Z is for Zenith” it makes perfect sense that this would be the final topic of these many Spiritual ideas …and the culmination of this journey.

The Zenith of something can have celestial meanings, such as the “highest point above the observer’s horizon.” It also refers to a culminating point of success or achievement. It brought to my mind the idea that we’ve gone through these past 25 writings with the express purpose of developing a stronger Spiritual practice …toward greater enlightenment …toward deeper peace …toward whatever reason one takes such an inward journey…to arrive in this moment.

When we arrive at the highest point of understanding or a clear understanding of our God-path, we might think the journey is over or that enlightenment is now ours. We tell ourselves we have arrived! And perhaps, for awhile, we are satisfied with that achievement.

However, what this tells me is that this is the Zenith of this moment …of this understanding …of this stage of Spiritual development. Once our human thinking adjusts to the current mental state – and eventually gets bored, as it always does – it’s time to move along to the next Zenith, the next highest point of observation or growth.

There are times when I think, this is all I want to learn; this is enough. Call it laziness, complacency, or giving up. It never lasts long. It can’t. There is that Divine urging – sometimes referred to as Divine Discontent – that is continually pushing us forward. It inspires us. The still small voice guides us. The cosmic two-by-four might even knock us upside the head to get our attention in some way just so we don’t stay stuck in our smallness of life.

Whether you know it or not, there is always more of you to discover! Your mind and potential are vast, deep, and filled with possibilities. There are no limits to what you can do when you put your mind to it – and stay focused on your intention(s). The same is true for me …for everyone.

As I write this last installment of “Spirituality A to Z” the voice within is already directing me to my next form of expression …in writing …in living …in teaching or sharing …in being more of me and who I came here to be.

God’s not done with me yet. God’s not done with you either. Let’s give it all we have. Live fully and completely every day of Life. This is the only day we have.

N is for No’ing to Know … Spirituality A to Z

I never expected such a title or topic to come to mind when writing about aspects or practices of Spirituality. As I gave more thought to the idea of saying “No” to those things that do not support my soul’s expression or highest Good, the topic made perfect sense. It’s a way of setting boundaries yet doing so in a loving way, a positive way, and thus, a positive “No.” Let me offer a couple of examples.

When I say I’m unable to babysit for one of my darling little grandchildren, it’s not because I don’t want to spend time with them. I often have multiple reasons for everything and this is no different. In this case I might say “No” because the timing doesn’t work with plans I’ve already made…and…because it’s important that grandma not be the only source of babysitting services. When I tell certain church members that a particular idea cannot be pursued at the moment, it may be because of other budgetary obligations that take precedence or it conflicts with something else already planned for that time period or it doesn’t fit with the vision of the church.

In either scenario the decision to say “No” brings with it a need or desire to Know why such a decision is being made – both for the person making the decision and the one(s) on the receiving side of the decision. I believe the Knowing comes before the No’ing; to be sure I can stand behind my decision.

One of the things that drove me crazy in childhood, when I was learning how to reason things out, was when a parent or other adult would say “No” to a request, followed by “because I said so” when challenged. This taught me to be certain about my responses. And since I’m a relatively positive person anyway, saying “No” does not come as easily as “Yes!” – although my young children would have debated otherwise.

However, lately, I know that saying “No” to someone else’s request that places a burden on my time and energies is really a “Yes” to me. It’s a way of setting my boundaries so I don’t take on too much. Also, a temporary “No” provides additional time to evaluate a situation before moving forward and perhaps changing the answer to “Yes” or a stronger “No.” Whatever the situation may be, it’s important to Know the reason for your answer and be able to respond to the “why” if someone asks the question.

As I have learned to say “No” to situations and people for the benefit of my growth and independence, as well as for their growth and independence, I have come to know myself in ways I never imagined. I’ve learned courage and strength in standing up for myself. I’m uncovering what it is that I like to do and not do. I’ve discovered where I’ve been giving away too much of myself – to the energy-drainers around me (whether people or unproductive habits) – and am plugging up the leaks in loving and firm ways. I feel a greater sense of serenity as I say “No” to the chaos and drama, sooner rather than later.

I’m “No’ing” to Know the authentic and vibrant Life that is me. This truly is a Spiritual practice and one that requires diligent self-care and commitment to a deeper vision, a higher consciousness, of who I am. What a journey this is! You’re all invited to come along.

D is for Decide… Spirituality A to Z

I love how Universal Principles follow the alphabet in a natural and logical progression. Thus far we have looked at how we need to (A) ASK for what we want. Then, it is critical to (B) BELIEVE in what you have asked for; that it is already a possibility in the Mind of God. This abundant Universe will most likely provide you with (C) CHOICES from which you can select the best options…and usually better ones than you could have thought for yourself. However, until you DECIDE, take action, nothing happens. D…is for Decide.

“It does not take much strength to do things, but it requires a great deal of strength to decide what to do.”  Elbert Hubbard

You can ask, believe, and review the choices in front of you, but until you act…until you make a decision …it’s as if you’re standing in front of an open refrigerator full of food expecting a meal to jump out at you – all prepared and ready to eat. It’s not going to happen! You need to select/decide what you wish to eat, prepare it or cook it, and put it on your plate.

The same is true in Life. The same is true about your thoughts and beliefs – you can and do choose them. And as a result of deciding what you think and believe the majority of the time, you create your world. Your beliefs, consciously created or absorbed through culture (race consciousness), become thoughts, actions, and eventually your life. Gandhi said it wonderfully:

“Your beliefs become your thoughts… Your thoughts become your words… Your words become your actions… Your actions become your habits… Your habits become your values… Your values become your destiny.” – Gandhi

Every step in this process involves making a decision. No one thinks for you. No one speaks for you. After you come of age, no one decides your habits or your values. You get to decide what you will keep as your own from childhood – or from ANY experience. It’s empowering! Each one of us gets to decide how we will respond to Life’s challenges. Each one of us gets to decide how we will serve or be in the world. And each one of us gets to be responsible for what we decide.

Whether we’ve been aware of it or not, these Universal Principles (and more) are how Life is created. Whether we acknowledge the Principles through using them – try to ignore them or work around them – they’re still in place responding to our thoughts, words and actions. Whether our experiences are of our own conscious creation or as a result of the world’s impact on us, these Principles, these Laws, rule. It’s so much easier to work WITH the Universal Laws than to keep getting knocked down because we refuse to acknowledge them.

“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo. “So do I,” said Gandalf, and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”  J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

Every day is your opportunity to Decide anew. You can continue on the path you’ve been traveling or take a new one, even if it’s only to test out something different for awhile – then Decide again. Perhaps it’s time to try a different approach in a relationship or a new attitude at work. You might be thinking about job options or an alternate living arrangement. Maybe you want to express your art or fashion choices with new designs. It might be time to go back to school or change careers or stop working altogether. Whatever it is that keeps coming up in your thoughts, it will not go away until the issue is addressed and a decision is made.

Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Then, once you make a decision, one based on that Spiritual “knowing” (intuition)… one that has no doubts about being the right choice… amazing things begin to happen. It’s the kind of decision where you know that you know that you know. There’s no sound of the ego voice debating in your head. Everything unfolds in absolutely perfect timing for your highest and best Good, and your life expands in Joy and Beauty and Love and Peace.

If one advances confidently in the direction of one’s dreams, and endeavors to live the life which one has imagined, one will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. – Henry David Thoreau

I have learned to trust Divine Power by starting with little decisions, witnessing the results, and gradually working up to grander ones as my “mental equivalent” has grown. As my trust grows, my choices and decisions have gotten larger, too. My confidence in Spirit has increased. My vision and life has expanded in wonderful and loving ways I only dreamed of years ago.

My challenge now is to ask and believe in ideas and endeavors that heal me, challenge me, and grow me in areas dear to my heart…maybe even make me a little nervous because they’re so much bigger than I used to dream. True, it can be about acquiring material things, and those are also in my realm of possibility thinking. Yet, they’re not the only areas of growth on which I must decide.

The decisions I make today are more often about the person I’m creating inside this human form. The focus is on becoming the highest expression of God I can envision. And just when I think I’ve achieved the best “me” possible…that this version is decidedly so much better than what I used to be…another choice presents itself and the A-B-C-D process begins anew. And so it is.

C is for Choice… Spirituality A to Z

C is for Choice … and has been my favorite Spiritual aspect of Life for many years. We have so many choices! The only limitations are those we place on ourselves. Even NOT making a specific or direct choice is making one. NOT having a CHOICE is NOT an option. Isn’t that great? That means there’s no excuse not to be involved in what kind of life you ultimately enjoy or experience and how you respond (react) to it. You choose.

When you have to make a choice and don’t make it, that is in itself a choice. – William James

I suppose I could stop there. I mean, really, how much is there to say about Choice? Actually, I can’t say enough about it! It’s been the foundation for my life’s direction and creation for so long – my underlying mantra – my driving force and inspiration – that it deserves more than just a short paragraph. I believe so deeply in the freedom of Choice and live it so passionately, that it’s actually irritated folks I know from time to time. They get tired of me saying, “You can do _____ OR you can do _____ OR ….”

Every man builds his world in his own image. He has the power to choose, but no power to escape the necessity of choice. – Ayn Rand

Mostly, I think, the reason for the upset is because I don’t buy into being stuck…there’s a choice for everything:  job, home, relationship, attitude, religious focus, hair color… the list is endless. There’s no reason to feel trapped. Each experience brings with it the opportunity to make a Choice each step of the way. Each Choice brings with it a consequence (good or bad). One Choice at a time, Life unfolds before us and lays down the path on which we tread.

Every art and every inquiry, and similarly every action and choice, is thought to aim at some good; and for this reason the good has rightly been declared to be that at which all things aim. – Aristotle

Perhaps the biggest Choice to make is what we “think” about anything, especially our attitudes and beliefs. No matter how hard our parents tried…no matter how hard we try with our children or grandchildren… with our spouse or anyone else for that matter… we can’t be told or dictated to about what to think. The mind, if nothing else, is the one sacred space we call our very own. The secrets of our mind are safe behind sealed lips. Let not the eyes betray us. We have the Choice to think thoughts based in positive energy and Universal flow, or to sink to depths that would require lengthy ropes to pull us out. Still, it is a Choice.

We need to teach the next generation of children from day one that they are responsible for their lives. Mankind’s greatest gift, also its greatest curse, is that we have free choice. We can make our choices built from love or from fear. – Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

With such a powerful tool at your disposal, where do you direct your Choice? Perhaps, it’s how you will use your time… what approach you will take to getting well… who you will share your life with… where you will go to school or on vacation… what attitude you will bring to work today… what priorities you will address in any given moment. Does Choice not offer the most incredible opportunities to create a life uniquely your own?

A life lived of choice is a life of conscious action. A life lived of chance is a life of unconscious creation. – Neale Donald Walsch

Choice, when done with Love behind and through it, for the highest Good of yourself and what you can offer to the world, is a gift of God beyond compare! It’s pure, Divine Intelligence speaking to us as that still, small Voice. Listen well…and choose with Love.

It’s All In Your Mind

There’s a colloquial saying that claims, “It’s all in your head.” I remember hearing that phrase on occasion when I was growing up, especially when I would start to project about some concern or problem happening in the future that would totally ruin my teenage life. The phrase was meant to stop me from such a negative train of thought. I later took it to mean that I was creating an unnecessary problem in my life. Both interpretations are correct…I know that now.

It truly is all in one’s head or mind. What we think about most often…positive or negative…we create in our lives or attract to us in some way. This means we must be diligent in our thinking and not fall into complacency. It means being aware and rigorously honest about the intentions, the motives, behind our thoughts, asking ourselves from time to time, “What was the real reason I said that [snippy, loving, mean, kind] remark?” or “Why did I treat him/her that way?” or “Where did that comment come from?”

I find it interesting to examine my thinking patterns to be sure I’m on the right track toward creating the life I intend to have – now and in the future. What is it I REALLY want to experience?

Right now, my focus is on Balance/Harmony, Abundance and Peace. This means I must also consider living from Love and acknowledging my connection with all Life. I must focus on the Universal Principles that are behind all creation…these (and other) “qualities” of God (as referred to in Religious Science).

This type of focus can be a challenge with so many distractions in the world or life in general. What I’ve noticed is that as I become more attuned to living and thinking from my God-Self, my human ego-self gets a bit unsettled, wanting to return to old habits and avoiding any change in the status quo. Opportunities for Spiritual growth continue to present themselves as a kind of challenge to see if I’m really making any progress…to test my commitment to this path. Sometimes, it can be two steps forward and one step back, depending on whom I’m interacting with and what the challenge might be. Yet, the evolution of Higher Consciousness will not be stopped.

The point is to be aware…to stay connected to Divine Love…to know that what you create in your life and what you are now or will experience… is truly all in your mind. You and I get to decide–in each second, each moment, with each thought, word and action–how we’re showing up in the world.

What does that look like for you today? Pay attention!

An Independent New World

On a day of fireworks, picnics and barbecues, our country and “We the People” are celebrating, for the 237th time in its history, its Declaration of Independence from oppressive government ruling. The United States is a relatively young country, still growing, still learning to find its way in the world, still battling its own evolution toward greatness. We are a tribe of visionaries, idealists, revolutionaries, and inventors.

I gave some thought to what kind of country I would create and celebrate. Perhaps you’ve had thoughts about what changes you would make, too. I pray for the day when we will honor a world:

…     where Peace and Harmony are so commonplace that war and conflict are just a sad memory;

…     where Abundance and Kindness are so prevalent that it’s unheard of for any person or child to go to bed hungry or be violently abused or live on the street;

…     where Healing happens so naturally and completely that, although medical care, services and technology are available for everyone equally, it is rarely needed;

…     where a respect for Nature’s Intelligence is embraced and supported so that the water, plants, animals and foods are free from artificial enhancements or chemicals, are wholly nutritious and plentiful for everyone;

…     where Creativity is encouraged in one another so that we graciously contribute to society our many productive talents and skills, and compensation is generous and fair;

…     where Prosperity is a commonly-held, Universal idea so that financial debt on a personal, local, national or global level is an oddity and quickly resolved, without dispute, dominating negative forces or debilitating political negotiations;

…     where Generosity, Truth, and Compassion replaces greed, deceit, and exploitation forever;

…     where Love and Cooperation means to live in community with all people without judgment or fear, accepting differences with curiosity, and embracing diversity into our lives with Joy and a belief in Oneness;

…     where demonstrating Good is more important than demonstrating superiority;

…     where Gratitude – for this life, these privileges, opportunities and freedoms – is experienced and shared in every waking moment, where every prayer begins with “thank you.”

I know this vision is possible. I see pieces of it in my life and all around me, in my spiritual community, in this country and other places around the world. If you share this vision or something similar, then now is the only time we have to make it a reality in the world…to bring such a world into visible and livable form. The only way for it to grow and expand is for each of us to embody this vision, this ideal, and be those qualities we want to see manifested around us…to BE the change you wish to see in the world.

We have Divine Mind within us to guide, direct and support our efforts for Good. We must exercise Wisdom based on Love for one another. And just as light dissipates darkness – not with force but by simply being light – so will Love dissolve fear through Divine Power directed with positive intention. Voltaire wrote: “With great power comes great responsibility.” The Law of Cause and Effect is precise in its creative execution. Be careful and conscious of what you pray for and about, because that is likely what you will experience, attract, and for which you will be responsible. In the words of Jesus “For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required.” (Luke 12:48 KJV)

Our country’s forefathers had a vision they believed in so definitively that they risked everything to initiate the freedoms we enjoy today. They were willing to be responsible for their actions, to fight and to die for their vision. Today, men and women are still standing on the front lines of freedom, offering their lives for a better world. The work is not over.

We must live these Spiritual Principles each day. We must hold the vision and allow God to guide our actions for Good. Teach this to your children and friends and associates. Start where you are with what you know and what you can do. Start now by expressing appreciation for all the blessings you enjoy, no matter how great or small. Start today…to create the vision and our future world…together.  Happy Independence Day!

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The Ever-Present Voice

A wedding anniversary is a good way of measuring how much we’ve grown…as a couple or as individuals. One area we’ve been particularly focused on improving together is how we manage our finances and resolve our beliefs about money.

While I don’t think of myself as being ignorant about money, it seems to have taken me a long time to handle my financial affairs with the same concern and respect I’ve had when working for others, such as conserving an employer’s resources or maintaining records. I am ever so diligent in those matters. However, I’ve struggled to find a money system that works for me for more than a couple of pay periods. And now that I have, “that voice” is starting to whisper again. But let me back up a bit.

I recognize that my early money management training consisted of little more than properly filling out tax withholding forms when I started a new job, opening a checking account, or trying not to spend more than I made between paychecks. When I first started working (at 14), I may have been advised to “save something” along the way, but the message did not take hold for a few decades … and then some major life experience always seemed to wipe out everything I had accumulated to that point.

Without going into the boring details of life, it’s only been in the past couple of years that I’ve really gotten honest with myself about the way I deal with, handle or think about money and debts. The first real eye-opener came after reading “Secrets of the Millionaire Mind.” I had collected and read numerous books from other financial gurus, designed to change my perception and financial standing, but nothing was as impactful as the questions and exercises posed in that book. Together with my husband, we began to explore our deep-rooted beliefs about money.

I was forced to notice the negative patterns I was repeating and imitating, creating a cycle of financial failure over and over again, whether in relationship or all by myself. Going through the exercises and questions together, forced us to get honest with each other. There was no one to blame; we were responsible for our situation. I was tired of failing at this. I was done with the arguments about money every time the bills had to be paid. There had to be a better way – some way to be successful in how we managed our money. And there was!

Through forgiveness of self for past mistakes, a pledge of rigorous honesty about finances, and a willingness to face my fears while making a serious effort to turn things around, I started educating myself with renewed fervor. I reviewed books about different debt-reduction systems. I shared the information with my husband. We visited financial planners, CPAs and prosperity classes. I’ve been introduced to new mentors. I also created spreadsheets that were more realistic than any previous plans…until we found a formula that worked for where we are, but could evolve with us. We opened our hearts and minds – no more secret stashes or resentment spending. It was time to trust the numbers, each other, and God.

Our consciousness about money has matured – finally! We’re making better decisions about our long-term financial future. After just a few months, man_w_moneybagwe’re seeing significant progress. It feels like we’re getting ahead of the debt without feeling a constant struggle. We’re creatively reducing costs. The money arguments have ended; the fear is gone. I’ve been consistent with my record-keeping efforts, too. And then, today, that old voice came back.

As I was balancing checkbooks, paying bills, and distributing funds amongst accounts, that ever-present voice started whispering. It was bored with saving money…of paying extra funds toward mortgages or credit cards…of cooking meals at home when we could go out. Progress wasn’t happening fast enough, it said. This process was easy, but boring. It wanted the familiar chaos, complication, uncertainty and over-spending of the past.

Frankly, I had forgotten about this scared and doubting part of me. That voice had become so silent during recent success, that it startled me, at first. Once I recognized it as an old way of thinking that no longer worked in this new paradigm of conscious money management, I thanked it for being a clear reminder of how far I’d come in such a short time. I also know I have a long way to go.

I see the potential for significant advancement in my financial understanding and undertakings. It’s not too late to learn…and I know how to learn! The blended system we’re using is working wonderfully; it’s become a routine. There’s no reason to change it. I’m sure part of my past money-handling mistakes was because I didn’t stay with a system long enough to be successful. No more. As long as I can see increased savings and reduced debt on a monthly basis, I’ll continue on this path with great vigor and dedication. More than ever before, I respect and value the money we earn and where it goes.

Someday, I might be a voice of wisdom for my children and grandchildren. But first, I must earn the right to speak.

Snowstorms, Over-Dressed & Nesting

Heavy_SnowToday’s spring snowstorm and my habitual nesting that accompanies it, reminded me of a snowstorm twenty-five years ago. It explains why each prediction of heavy snowfall sends me scurrying to the grocery store to “stock up” as well as to have food prepared and cooked in case the power goes out. While today I’m not so concerned about having a supply of candles, I do have an inventory of assorted batteries for numerous flashlights. My phone and laptops are also fully charged and at the ready. My 4-wheel drive vehicle is gassed up. And then I watch the snow with no concern whatever.

The spring snowstorm of years ago started shortly after I arrived at the office. Snow had been predicted, but I had way over-dressed that morning for the bus commute to work. I wore leggings under dress slacks, two pair of warm socks in my snow boots, a turtleneck shirt covered by a sweater covered by a Aussie-style, walkabout coat. I loved that coat. It was khaki green and long, a great windbreaker, durable and stylish to boot. I topped off this ensemble with my “outback” leather hat, a warm scarf around my neck, and thermal gloves on my hands. I was ready for the elements!

The company decided to close early that day to allow employees to get home before the roads became dangerous. I redressed into my gear, walked to the bus station, and awaited the arrival of my chariot for the 15-mile journey toward home. The highways were already a challenge for drivers, including the one at the front of our bus.

As we approached the exit ramp, the incline of the highway and the ice on the road made it impossible for the bus to go any farther. One of the passengers, a female flight attendant who must have been a cheerleader in a former life, rallied the passengers to gather near the back of the bus. The theory was that our combined weight, concentrated over the rear wheels, and then jumping up and down together to the commands of our cheerleader attendant, as the bus driver slowly engaged the gears and tires, would allow the bus to creep up the exit ramp. Thus, we could make our bus connections or get to our cars, and she could get to the airport to make her flight. It worked for a few hundred feet, but the highway’s incline won. The bus couldn’t make it up the hill or to the car park ahead. It was stuck on the highway.

For those individuals who needed to get up the exit ramp, unbury their car, and join the insane traffic jam that traversed both sides of the road over the highway and the bus below…it was time to leave behind the warm bus and the motivating echoes of the flight attendant. I cinched the belt around my coat, secured my backpack and hat, and stepped out onto the edge of the highway and into a biting wind filled with snow, ice and cold.

A few of us made our way up the exit ramp together, crossed the intersection to the parking lot, and then went our separate ways. I stood inside the three-sided bus shelter, wondering if the bus to take me on the final leg home would actually arrive. Could it even get through all that traffic, let alone manage the icy road conditions? Since these were the days before cell phones were common, I had no way to let my then-husband know where I was. I just prayed he and my daughter were safe at home, and that I would get there before too long. It was already dark and the temperature was dropping.

I waited for at least 30 minutes, glad I had over-dressed and wondering if I’d get home faster by walking those last two miles rather than just standing there in the blowing snow and icy wind. There was plenty of traffic, none of which seemed to be going anywhere. Finally, the bus for my route pulled into the parking lot, escorted by two police cars as a way for it to get through all the traffic. I don’t remember if anyone got off the bus, but I know I got on as quickly as I could. There was standing room only, but it was warm. The crowd was friendly, everyone supporting the driver’s efforts and each other. There was no end to the travel stories of the past few hours. This commute had already lasted more than two hours for me and I was definitely ready to see it end.

Our bus left the parking lot and pulled into the crawling traffic, trying to make its way across the overpass and the highway below. The first bus had left by this time. Cars and trucks and snowplows slowly crawled the four lanes below. My new driver suddenly announced that the road conditions were making it impossible to complete his route. He had been instructed to divert the bus to a Red Cross shelter at a local church just up ahead.

I knew where that church was located and it would take me close to, but in the opposite direction of, my home. I made my way to the front of the bus and begged him to please let me out when he reached the corner where he was going to turn the bus toward the church location. I told him it was very close to my home and I could walk from there, please. That was the truth; it was only about a quarter of a mile to walk. I could tell he was concerned for my safety, so I begged a little more. When the bus turned off the main road, he stopped, opened the door and I got out. So did a couple other people before the driver pulled back into traffic toward the church and emergency shelter.

The snow was already a good 18 inches deep with drifts up to my waist. I was grateful I didn’t have miles to walk. I was rather pleased with myself for being so over-dressed that morning. It was perfect for the current conditions. I felt strong. I was used to walking and thought this to be a good test of my strength and stamina. It was. I wrapped my long scarf across my mouth and around my neck, readjusted my backpack, and headed toward home.

After 30 minutes of trudging, slipping, falling and getting back up (my foot went down an open curb gutter buried beneath a deep drift; I thought I’d lost my leg), I finally made it into the townhouse complex. Another few minutes of dragging my body through waist-deep snow and I was standing in front of my gate and home.

I was greeted with hugs and many questions about my extremely long and cold journey home. My four-year-old daughter had been so concerned. After taking off my layers of wet clothing, all I wanted to do was to hug her and cry. I was so grateful to be inside. I chec

ked my leg for bruises, changed into some dry clothes, and, together, she and I started cooking.

We made several entrée dishes and baked other goodies in less than an hour…just before the electricity went out due to the heavy snow on the power lines. It came back on and off again throughout the night, but never long enough for us to get cold. We were going to be okay. We had food. There was plenty of snow for refrigeration, if we needed it. And I knew I could walk the distance to the convenience store if I really had to. I spent the evening reading bedtime stories by candlelight, cuddled in warm blankets and lots of love.

Snowstorms. Over-dressing. Nesting habits. They all go together for me. I want to add something else… Gratitude. That experience was the first time I remember truly listening to my intuition (to over-dress for the day and then to cook quickly when I got home). I’m thankful that I paid attention. I’ve never doubted the messages since. Today’s snow is a good reminder to keep listening.

Freedom To Be Me

The more I learn about who I am, the more I yearn to express fully as me. This may not seem like such a difficult undertaking, yet for someone who has focused on work first for most of her life, this is not an easy or simple undertaking. The most familiar way for me to express is through my work. Any alternative is challenging, and sometime feels very foreign. I find my freedom through my work – whether it’s for payment or pleasure.

I discovered in my early teen years, that by going out into the work world, I was not so easily relied upon to take care of younger siblings (four of them). I found it easier – and more palatable to my sense of independence – to go to school, work part-time, and pay room-and-board at home, than to be a teenager in the house, taking care of little ones, and being under the scrutiny of my parents. Working gave me a little money for my own spending, yes. But more than that, working gave me freedom!

Being in the workforce so early in life (babysitting at 9, restaurant at 14, bartender and office worker at 18, etc.) planted seeds of a workaholic behavior to which I now pay close attention. It’s often difficult for me to slow down or find balance in life. I dream of extended vacations, but I don’t often take them. Instead, I do refreshing mini-retreats each day through meditation, reading, and tasks that require minor brain energy. It’s a beginning toward greater experiences.

The act of working gave me the opportunity to discover how I fit into society, the world. I discovered I learned quickly, retained and honed skills easily by challenging myself through accepting tasks of greater difficulty, and was (am) able to complete projects efficiently through constantly improving production processes (specifically, desktop publishing, editing, and marketing tasks).

It’s interesting to observe how much I expect of myself. However, when I get lost in the creative flow of a project, humming along and losing track of time, it doesn’t feel like work. It feels like a graceful dance, a euphoric ballet, or high-energy hip-hop routine. I’m in the flow of Spirit; it’s Oneness in action. My time and energy become an easy give-and-take of talent and a creative expression of years of finely-honed skills. There’s a mental committee urging me on, encouraging me to challenge the status quo…watching my progress as I stretch myself and reach beyond previous levels of achievement.

These are moments of freedom to be me. I determine with a somewhat critical eye if I’ve done my best…at least, this time…where I can improve…and how I can explore diverse interests. I get to dig deep into my years of experience, get lost in a puzzle of complexity, and come up with answers or ideas that resolve a riddle or challenge. Then, I take a breath, turn around, and look for another set of questions that has no answers.

In that break between focuses, no matter how long it lasts, there is freedom to dream new creations, new endeavors, new accomplishments that bring new skills…and the cycle continues with great anticipation…the freedom to express as me!

Anticipation

This year, more than any other time, I await the results of the presidential election with great anticipation. I’m certainly no expert on all the issues or the candidates. I’m sure there’s much I missed along the way. Yet I paid attention to what was important to me, balanced the presenta­tions from varied sources, did my own research, and then made my decision based on education, intuition and faith. It will be interesting to see how it all turns out.

Anticipation is an interesting sensation. It holds within it increased awareness, enthusiasm and hope… even some attachment to a specific result. This heightened feeling of expectation provides energy to stay alert, fully participating, being involved, and awaiting the finish or at least the completion of the next stage of unfoldment, whether it be election results, health diagnosis, project conclusion, and business or relationship decisions.

As any stage comes to completion, with it can come a sigh of relief and perhaps sadness that it’s finally over. Anticipation’s euphoric breath is released and a thought of celebration usually follows, however brief it may be. Shortly or eventually thereafter, a renewed energy begins to grow to address the next stage, the next idea, or another challenge…and the anticipation cycle begins again.

This cycle of anticipation and closure is very much like what we find throughout Nature. The ebb and flow of the ocean…the growth and rest of the plants from seed to maturity to decay…the changing of the different seasons…day and night… being awake or going to sleep…etc. Thus, this concept is nothing new. Anticipation is a normal way of being and provides us the motivation and energy to pursue our goals and intentions, as well as to carry us through any disappointments toward renewed optimism.

As the election winds down, I release a sigh of gratitude that this event is nearly concluded…until next time. The focus for many people will return to their previous interests, employment efforts, families, friends, homes, and social media postings…other normal ways of being and living. Our country takes a collective sigh of relief as we move forward into the next chapter of our world’s unfoldment and evolution. It’s an exciting time…and one filled with great anticipation!