Everything and everyone in creation has value, either to some thing, some process or experience, or someone else. Interestingly, it is our individual judgment or opinion that determines the value of whatever we’re considering.
While we may decide something is “bad” now, we could just as easily determine (after a time and deep reflection) that it really was “good” to have had that person, thing or situation in our lives when it appeared. The goal, especially as one becomes more spiritually aware of the Oneness and overall Good of the Universe, is to see the benefit in all things as it is happening.
For example, consider this scenario: Perhaps you really don’t like your job anymore. First, acknowledge that you do have employment (good). The money is necessary for life and you get paid regularly (good!), but the satisfaction has diminished or disappeared (judged as bad). Although it’s been hard work amidst lots of company politics (bad), the skills you gained in your position have increased your professional worth (good) and you are respected in your field (more good). You know your work so well, that most days you can show up, do your business, and not feel stressed at all! But you miss the challenge. What do you do? You have several choices.
You can continue on this current path and be satisfied with the good there is, as it is.
You can complain about your job to anyone who will listen and attract that very same negativity into your life, perhaps resulting in your termination and loss of wages – before you’re ready for such a change.
You can look for additional challenges (projects or other positions – in the company or elsewhere) that would test and grow you to another level; releasing the status quo and creating in another area…be of more service.
You could develop interests outside your work and on which you could focus your excess energy, perhaps creating a whole new business, profession or personal outlet for yourself.
Or…you could do any combination of these and more!
We all have a choice in how we respond to Life…to the Good that is all around us..to the very thoughts we think. Since it can be difficult and confusing to judge our own life experiences as to what is good or bad, we do well not to spend too much (or any) time, energy or thought judging others. We can never really know the full benefit, the good, of their experiences. We need to be concerned only with our own. It’s often just a matter of actually looking for the Good and being Grateful for what we DO have.
Gratitude is the best antidote for “the blues” or the “less than” feelings we sometimes bring to the surface of our consciousness. Gratitude for what already exists, starting with our very breath, life, and acknowledging everything else in our field of existence. It’s not always easy; we often like to place the blame for our bad situations elsewhere. Stop! An “Attitude of Gratitude” coupled with earnest prayer can do wonders to turn the day around and help us see the value in everyone and everything we experience in Life. Isn’t that what you would really rather experience?
“If there’s one person who can do anything, it’s you!” said my son’s fiancé as we shared morning coffee during an unexpected day off for both of us. I needed to hear it. For a moment I borrowed her Faith and Belief in me to support my own wavering confidence. Where had Belief in myself gone? Does it ever really leave a person – or – just get pushed down and covered up by doubt and fear?
In the Science of Mind philosophy, “Belief” is defined as “conviction or feeling of the truth of a proposition or condition…Belief may go no farther than intellectual assent while Faith embodies a trust and confidence.” (SOM Textbook/Glossary, p.577) Given this definition, I looked up Faith a few pages away. It states “Faith is a mental attitude, so inwardly embodied that the mind can no longer deny it…” (SOM, p.591)
They work hand-in-hand. So I interpret it this way: Belief in yourself, in your goals, or an expanded life vision, is a conscious act of affirmative thinking that, held in Mind long enough, grows into a Faith to sustain the activities until achievement is finally realized.
Based on my own experience, I know Belief can waiver in its intensity. It’s like a seed that needs the proper soil, sun, water and tending to fully develop into a healthy plant. The care continues. The plant (Belief) grows stronger until it can stand on its own with little conscious tending. The energy behind its growth is no longer totally dependent on daily nurturing. It takes on a life of its own, a strength and confidence (Faith) that it will mature, blossom and produce its fruit. That is what it was created for; that is all it can or will do.
How much simpler would our lives be if we could hold in mind what our purpose is long enough for it to manifest into form? If we could hold the Belief until it grew into Faith so that the fruit of our efforts could be born? Some do. Some do not. Often our brilliant ideas are abandoned and left to die for lack of nurturing. Our Belief is choked out by the weeds of doubt and fear and judgment and criticism. We can remove those weeds with prayer, persistence, courage and trust. A little attention each day to our vision, our idea, can keep it growing until it’s either evident that a better idea is taking its place – or – until Faith steps up with the energy to carry it through to its success.
There are a number of ways to bring your mind from doubt to Belief to Faith. Today, it was simply believing in the Belief someone else had for me, long enough to pull up some negative thoughts and get on with nurturing my life. What you focus on does grow!
The weeks leading up to the Christmas holiday season are filled with anticipation on many levels. Children write letters or lists for Santa and parents. Adults shop, bake or arrange outings. Friends and family travel or prepare for guests to arrive. Then, the New Year follows close behind and brings its own forms of anticipation. Whether there are special parties to attend or to host, resolutions to concentrate on, or decorations and packages to store away, many of us breathe a sigh of relief as the old year comes to an end and the new one begins. A fresh start.
We ask ourselves, “what next?” and prepare for change. This expectancy can be a feeling of welcome and excitement or one of fear and dread. We wonder what the new year will bring, because we recognize that with passing time, we WILL change. Life will provide a challenge to stimulate our learning. We will have another birthday. We might notice a change in our energy level, health or hair color (more gray?). Our children will grow. Friends move to and fro. People die. Babies are born. Everyone will become more knowledgeable in some way as we face change in life. The preference is to choose the desired change (or your response to it) rather than to sit idly by, waiting for whatever might befall you.
Anticipation often includes a feeling of hope or something you look forward to. Intention has to do with having a purpose in mind, an aim that guides your actions, to set a plan in motion (one that has certain objectives). Clear intentions are generally followed with the anticipation of success. However, anticipation alone, without any set intention in mind…while you might feel good for a time…soon fizzles in the fog. Success in achieving your goals and objectives increases substantially when your intentions are determined first, aligned with your prayers and practical applications (attention), and energized with anticipation.
Anticipation requires active intention (a form of participation) to see the manifestation of the desire. True, something could manifest the way you anticipate without your having to physically do anything toward its creation. The act of anticipating, of focusing your mental energy on the desired outcome…and certainly a lesser form of attention than if you get physically involved in the creation process, such as pick up a hammer, write a goal statement, take a class, etc… could result in something being created, but in what form?
To create what you truly desire, to bring something into existence (manifestation), requires: 1) intention; 2) attention; and 3) anticipation, all working together to create the ultimate form – whether that form is a new job, a piece of art, creating a home, developing a relationship, writing an article, or experiencing a more positive attitude and new year.
Anticipation alone? Well, that’s like waiting for Santa to show up and bring you the one present you’ve always secretly wanted, but have never even put on your list; there’s bound to be disappointment. But add intention and attention to the equation of creating the life you envision, and some degree of success will always occur, if only that you learn from mistakes to improve your choices, grow awareness, or sharpen your clarity. Pray…and then do your part. Treat…and move your feet.
Intention. Attention. Anticipation. Success. Happy New Year!
According to the definitions offered on Wikipedia…PRIDE is “an inwardly directed emotion that carries two common meanings.” First, with a negative connotation, pride refers to “an inflated sense of one’s personal status or accomplishments, often used synonymously with hubris [extreme arrogance].” Second, and with a positive connotation, pride refers to “a satisfied sense of attachment toward one’s own or another’s choices and actions, or toward a whole group of people, and is a product of praise, independent self-reflection, or a fulfilled feeling of belonging.”
While I’ve been aware of the first definition since childhood, I prefer the second meaning, and here’s why…
I believe that having ‘pride’ in one’s community – whether it be where you live, go to school, your church or work, or participation in a cause – pride creates a bond for the Good of that group. As a group that is proud of their connection, people tend to take greater care of their community and one another. There’s a positive connection of belonging, of being united, of having one focus. We grow in the process.
Groups identify themselves in various ways; you see it everywhere. Sports teams have their mascots. Businesses have their logos. Schools have certain colors. Churches have a symbol of faith. Employees wear name badges. Professions have uniforms. It doesn’t matter what the identifier is; it matters that we can identify one another because of these symbols. We recognize our connecting interest to such groups through these visual signs. What about the invisible signs of individual pride?
One way to express individual pride (invisibly) is to do your best or be your best – the best expression of who you are. You can complete a task or job to the best of your capability and knowledge. You can leave a campsite (this earth) better than you found it. You can bring love, peace and joy to a situation where there was none. You can express yourself through your talents, your personal style, your beliefs, how you care for your body or home, and/or the way you live in the world.
Pride starts from within you…how you feel about yourself…and radiates outward. The negative description of pride is the result of an inflated sense of self; it never goes beyond the individual’s ego. The positive definition is when one feels that sense of pride within and shares it with the rest of the world in a generous and healthy way. We are all unique so our individual expression of this “virtue” is also distinctive.
In what ways do you show pride in the world – for yourself or with others? Perhaps some independent self-reflection can empower you to express in expanded ways and, thus, benefit you and the world.
There is that “thing” in us that pushes us to express life, ever fuller, ever richer. We call it Divine Inspiration, motivation, urge or drive. One name does not fit all, nor does one way apply to how every individual expresses, whether in their career, artistic expression, or even the way they drive a car. My daily commute averages 60-90 minutes each way and exposes me to thousands of drivers. I often wonder if the people “drive” their lives the same way they drive their cars.
My drive to and from work is very calculated and planned, so that I can arrive at my destination in the least amount of time and incident-free. I pay attention to the traffic patterns presented during my commute, the time of day, even the time of month or season; such factors affect the number of cars on the road and the types of drivers, too.
For example, in the morning I stay in the far left lane of the highway until I’m about a mile from my exit. It may not move any faster than the other three lanes, but it’s the most direct and has the least number of drivers coming in and out of it. I’m on a mission: get to work! Also, if I need to suddenly stop, the shoulder is just to the left and I can avoid any rear-end impacts to those in front or behind.
As for my return commute in the evening, the fastest and smoothest-running lane is the one just right of the far left lane. The cars move at a steady pace and the lane seems less congested than the ‘fast’ lane. Again, it usually has the least number of drivers coming in and out of it.
So how do these driving habits relate to the way I express in life? In my career? My hobbies or activities? Maybe you can relate to these comparisons:
Have a plan, route or map to the destination. I’ve thought through as much as I can based on present observations and past experiences.
Use a signal or directional when making lane changes. I talk about it when I need to make a change in life, too. Admittedly, I’m not the most spontaneous person I know… and certainly not for those things in life that hold significant consequences. Go to a movie at a moment’s notice? Yes. Quit my job without having another lined up? Not any more.
Obey all traffic laws and the Laws of the Universe, even when no one is looking. I let people into my lane when they signal such an intention, and if someone wants to pass me in a hurry, I let them go by–and pray for their safety. The Universe keeps perfect score ALL the time, and I want my scorecard balanced and clean.
Buckle the seat belt every time I’m in a car and maintain my vehicle regularly. This relates to doing what’s healthy and wise for my body, mind and soul, being proactive in caring for this physical form that carries me through life, slowing down when things get too chaotic, maybe even pulling over or taking a break.
Stay aware. I notice when traffic or weather patterns change and I need to adapt. I watch for and avoid careless drivers. Learn and apply new skills. Take a different route or get out of the familiar lane. Sometimes it’s necessary to leave familiar patterns…to experience a new situation.
That’s how we continue to grow and more fully express life. LIFE: the gift that keeps on giving!
During my ministerial studies I came across a word that both challenged and intrigued me…tentmaking. As I understand it, tentmaking is when a “man of the cloth” engaged in a full-time profession of some kind in order to support his living expenses, yet followed a calling to minister, preach and tend to the spiritual needs of a church community…a community that, for whatever reason, could not provide financially for a full-time minister or it just wasn’t their practice to do so. Hence, the minister had a job to support himself and was a “volunteer” to his church; he donated his leadership and religious direction to the local flock because he (or she) was compelled by God to do so.
This term came to my mind again today as I prepared to go forward into a new, full-time job. I go into this work experience with a heart of service for at least two purposes: 1) so I can once again contribute financially to the life my husband and I have created these past 15 years, and also to our future; and 2) so I will be able to contribute to or support my spiritual calling, this ministry that guides me and provides a higher vision for my life…this purpose fills my heart and soul, bringing connection to others, igniting a faith that resides deep within (whatever name of religion it’s called).
“The pain pushes until the vision pulls.”
It has been somewhat a painful and challenging journey during the past year of job-hunting, self-evaluation, self-judgment, (im)patience and faith. I held a different picture in mind of what my paid income would look like, who I would work for, and how much I would need to make. I resisted the idea of “going back to work” in the “corporate world.” Then the seed was planted with one word – tentmaking – and a shift occurred.
It’s been done for centuries by devout men and women. Even today in the Mormon church, the bishops (spiritual leaders) have paid careers or businesses separate from their responsibilities or calling to serve their religion, and they commit to a specific term of service (about 3 years) in their turn. Baha’i groups accept donations only from those dedicated to their faith and there is no ministerial hierarchy or leadership in individual churches; its members step forward to coordinate, preach and run their centers or local study groups.
Now I’m not against ministers being paid for their work. Our culture proudly touts specializations in every profession and some churches, especially larger ones, need a dedicated leader to keep it altogether for as long as they’re able. Doing a sermon well takes many hours of research and preparation to present a 20-30 minute talk, something for which a minister usually gets paid to do.
I’ve heard it said that a minister’s career lasts about 3-5 years. It’s challenging, demanding and rewarding work. I’m intrigued to find out if utilizing a tentmaking approach will allow me to serve far beyond the average career span.
I’ve come to the conclusion that you can tell a great deal about a person’s character based upon the way they tend their yard (“garden” as it’s referred to by our Australian friends, and the term I prefer to use). A correlation can be made to such activities when examining how a person faces life’s challenges, relationships and successes. Granted, not everyone likes to garden; that could be why there are so many landscaping companies available from which to choose. But in that, hiring professionals to maintain one’s property, there shows a level of integrity and concern, a hint to the homeowner’s character.
I’ve spent the past few days dedicated to cleaning up the large garden of my former home, preparing it for the realtor’s photographer and in hopes of making it more appealing to potential buyers. Each feature of the garden brought back memories of its design, installation, and years of maintenance, primarily by the strength of my own hands (and back). I’ve cleared ground, planted trees and flowers, and worked in sun and rain – alone and with family members – to create a garden and peaceful retreat in nature. It’s a park-like setting and a lovely sanctuary when it’s all cleaned up!
My days of pulling weeds have been many. The depleting strength in my arms bear witness to years of stem grabbing, ground softening, and roots breaking under my hands’ pressure to release their rooted grip from soil not designated for their existence. I’ve discovered there’s a lot that can be learned about a person’s character simply by observing the way they go about this solitary task.
For example, a friend of mine, an avid gardener, once offered to help me catch up on my weeding chore and ease the pain my arms were experiencing from the arduous process. I welcomed such help. My husband, though skilled in so many areas, is not a gardener and left its design and maintenance to me. On the other hand, my friend professed to be quite fond of gardening and adept at pulling weeds. I was excited to have someone with such an ardent passion for gardening volunteer to help me. She and I labored near one another, each of us addressing a different plot so as not to get underfoot of the other.
For a couple of hours we pulled and tugged at the noxious growth, stacking them up in piles as we went. While evening’s light became dim, there was enough to see several large piles of wilting weeds, evidence of where she had been, left behind in the wake of her weeding frenzy. I bagged my discarded weeds as I went along. She did not. Plastic trash bags were handy and close by, but unused. I pondered this, deciding whether to continue my own direction and another flower bed or to start collecting her weed piles before darkness fell or the wind scattered them about. I decided on the latter. While she chattered away on her cell phone to a distant voice, I silently stuffed trash bags with dying, unwanted plants and started to form some opinions about this weed-pulling style. When her conversation with the distant voice ended and the thick of darkness no longer allowed us to determine what we were pulling, and without offering to help pick up any of the weed debris, she went home, with my gratitude for her time spent in my garden.
The next morning’s daylight revealed some disappointment of the experience and further evidence of what I had begun to contemplate the previous evening regarding this person’s character.
A significant number of larger weeds still remained in the areas where my friend had been working. The tops were gone, the stems were stripped of leaves, but their roots remained intact. Only the smaller, easy-to-pull species had been removed completely. Many of the leaves that had been stripped from the larger plants still lay near the stem rather than having been tossed on the collection pile…a pile that remained for someone else – me – to pick up. It wasn’t just one or two weeds here and there; in every area she had worked the previous evening, it needed to be redone to some degree.
As much as I had welcomed this friend into my outdoor sanctuary, I wondered if I would have been better off without her help. Staring at the clean-up that laid before me, I started to make sense of little things that had come up in our friendship and which I had been unable to identify until now. I realized the correlation between levels of gardening care (weeding, in particular) and character traits didn’t just be relevant to her specifically, but could pertain to anyone. I became grateful for the awareness she had brought so clearly into view.
In pulling off just the leaves of the larger weeds and leaving behind the naked stems and imbedded roots, even when there were tools handy to dig them out and a watering hose available to soften the ground, it now made sense that she had left so much unfinished – that was the way she handled many areas of her life, including the relationship she had with me.
She had often headed up other projects in which I was involved, taking the lead and the credit for the goal’s success, but leaving the details and the cleanup to be completed by others. Someone else would have to dig in to get to the bottom of the project, reveal the hidden objections and challenges, and gather up all the materials after the venture was over…so that the next task or group could come forward. It was an “ah-ha” moment for me. Once again, as a result of choosing to partner with her, I was digging in, cleaning up, and carrying out the trash while she shared with others (I learned later) how she had come to my rescue to help me with some much-needed weeding.
I reflected on my own style of gardening and how it related to my sometimes pefectionistic nature and other personality traits. I had to test my theory even further. So how does it correlate? How do I measure up to these standards of weeding?
In many ways my gardening approach is very similar to the way I conduct my life – with a plan. I approach it methodically and with foresight so that, hopefully, I won’t have to redo any steps, such as planting a tree then realizing it’s in the wrong spot and having to move it later because it won’t survive in the first spot it was planted. I’d rather take a little more time planning than have to do something repeatedly due to a lack of preparation.
Following a path or plan
I have a tendency to be practical, taking things in logical sequence, following step-by-step procedures, paying attention to the details, and evaluating the importance of each along the way. I can troubleshoot as I go, make adjustments accordingly, and end up with better results, even if it means the overall plan must change from what was originally conceived. Thus, I focus on one garden bed at a time and pull the weeds in a small section, one area at a time. None are left behind. I thoroughly clear away all unwanted weed-like flora, leaving only those flowers, plants and shrubs that have been lovingly planted and will continue to be nurtured for the gifts of scent, fruit, and beauty they bring. Yes, some weeds will come back. However, with diligent awareness and care, they become less a nuisance and reduced in number. It’s a matter of focus and commitment.
I am practical, efficient, and tenacious. As long as something has to be done, why not do it with the least amount of effort – or create the condition so it isn’t so difficult (i.e., watering the ground around the weeds). Life doesn’t have to be hard. Weeding is easiest done after a rain storm or watering with a hose. The proper tools assist with the most stubborn of weeds – dig down to the root, loosen up the surrounding soil, and the buggers don’t stand a chance of staying intact. The idea is to be smarter than the weed and not give up!
I’m discerning. Some weeds grow in the most inconvenient spots (like in the middle of your favorite bulbs or ground cover) so that digging them up is a delicate proposition. Also, the weeds may be structured in such a way that too much pulling just breaks off the top at ground level and the roots can be difficult to remove totally (e.g., thistles). I can let the ground soften through watering, hoping they’ll come out more easily, but sometimes even that doesn’t work. This is when I have to decide just how much of a perfectionist I am – how important is it to get every single weed’s root out? The answer: it’s not!
I know with every fiber of my being that the thistle will grow another stem and leaves before the season is over. I can count on it! I find peace in that assuredness of nature. Even if I don’t succeed with this one plant now, I’ll get another opportunity to uproot its minor annoyance later. I don’t have to dig up my flower bed now, damaging my precious flowers or vines, to make a point…to be the “victor of the weed” and destroy a treasure of my heart.
I am dependable. I can be counted on to finish what I start until it is complete or no longer serves a worthwhile purpose. There have been many times when I question my annual weed-pulling ritual. Gardening often takes large blocks of time, energy, and strength; it’s a perpetual act – spring comes each year and the activity starts all over again. With each new spring the foliage has grown, become more mature and, usually, more glorious! It’s the first blossoms of the season that ignite the fire in me to garden once more. It’s a call to serve Mother Nature that I cannot ignore. My hands must reach deep into the dark, pungent soil to support this new life and clear away the dead or unwanted growth of the previous winter. It’s a time of examination of what can be saved, what can be restructured, and what must be discarded. In the same way I examine those parts of me that no longer serve my highest good, those that honor the very essence of my existence, and those that need love and care to develop into something even greater. I remove the weeds of negative thought, forgive that which I cannot change, release what no longer benefits my life, and nourish those gifts in me that best serve God and humanity.
And what gifts the garden offers in return! While engaged in the garden’s repair, I reminisce about the struggle to get the children to help with mowing, the yard games we shared, the pets that have lived and died here, the parties we’ve held, and the evenings sitting with my husband in front of the outdoor fireplace, roasting marshmallows with our grandchildren, or sitting alone meditating. My husband and I were married inside this house, and we restated our vows 10 years later on the wooden bridge I had built and placed over the small pond I dug by hand.
As I kneel now on the cool damp ground, pulling weeds once again, my back is gently warmed by the sun and I am lovingly grateful to a long-ago friend for helping me on this path. Hummingbirds whiz by in their quest for nectar or convenient urban feeders. I fondly remember the faces of others who helped sow seeds here, resulting in resplendent blossoms and vivid colors. I hear the gentle trickle of my pond’s miniature waterfall, just enough of a sound to bring a sense of joy to my heart. The gentle breeze rocks the willow tree’s branches to and fro as I gaze up in amazement at how much it’s grown in just five short years. The little blue spruce I planted fourteen years ago is now taller than me. I will miss this place, this private corner in Mother Nature’s world, this sanctuary for my soul…until the next one is created.
Creating and nurturing a garden is not a voluntary act for me; it’s an integral part of who I am. And while the size, variety, and location of my garden may change as the years go by, for whatever reason, I will always have a garden and feel the need to meld with the earth…to play in the dirt…to be in awe as the miracle of life grows from a seed to a blossom. Regardless of the work and effort it takes to create and maintain it, I have to do it…and do it well!
For in its creation, the seeds of who I am are grown.
