Category: Prof-Career-Writing

Good Grief

Posted on by cmryan

I did it! Last week I officially resigned from a “secure” employment position to focus on my ministry and entrepreneurial interests. (Security is a relative term; the company and its employees experienced four lay-offs in less than two years.) I know the timing is perfect for I’ve felt nothing but exhaustion for several days since. There was little physical energy left to continue that insane schedule. However, while I can rationalize or justify the ‘why’ of each emotion or physical feeling, I’ve felt incredible sadness, sleeplessness, and very little motivation to do anything I enjoy…up until now.

I’m convinced that this mix of feelings – mental and physical – is not only a result of the release after working two full-time jobs for nearly two years, but also a form of grief. I have let go a professional role that I have known for more than 30 years. I have supported corporate managers, sales teams, presidents and CEOs. I have provided a set of technical and interpersonal office skills that are not yet developed in the person who just replaced my position. Such development takes time. Fortunately, my skills will always be mine; I can take them with me wherever I go.

In spite of that awareness and the choice I made to leave that job, this is a time to honor the release of a career that, in many ways, I have outgrown. The sadness or grief that has welled up so unexpectedly will pass in time…as does all grief. It is good to experience the low’s so we can better appreciate the high’s. Opposites are a common occurrence in our world. As long as I don’t wallow too long in these lowered feelings, the grief will transform into Good. The mystery is:  into what will it transform? What “phoenix” will arise from the ashes? This is a monumental turning point and one worth remembering!

I have tremendous appreciation for this moment of opportunity…for my husband and partner…for our church congregants and volunteers…for the gifts of talent I have and those yet to discover…for a new career path to fully explore and embrace the Divine. The excitement of creating a larger future, of expressing more of who I am and to serve the world in greater ways, pulls me from this grief to focus on the unlimited possibilities of Life! Where do I start? With gratitude… for all I have and AM in this world, as well as all I AM yet to be.

God is Good…Good is God. And so it is!

Hunger

Posted on by cmryan

I heard an odd sound this morning, something I haven’t experienced for awhile. My stomach grumbled…and not because I was deprived of food in any way.  I wasn’t on a diet of any sort. However, I did notice I was a little hungry. While I was able to quickly satisfy my physical craving for food, it got me thinking about another type of hunger.

You might think of this “hunger” as longing and discontent, a craving for something more, a way to live life more fully, to express more completely as who you are. I live with this desire all the time. I feel constantly pushed by Spirit to discover more of what I can do, what I’m capable of creating and learning and expressing. Sometimes those closest to me shake their heads at all my plans and dreams. They tell me to slow down. Yet, they see only a small part of what is inside me, waiting…growing…visioning. The roots are deep.

The “push” inside of me is not about proving to anyone how much I can do, because frankly, of my own will, I can do nothing. The energy that fills me is Infinite and comes from a Higher Source than that provided through nourishment, muscle or a good night’s sleep. The discontent, expressing less than what I’m capable of, keeps me on-track to explore the limits of my talents, to develop new skills, to serve greater needs, and to dream bigger dreams.

Our arrival to and departure from this physical plane is usually shared with others. Life’s journey is never traveled alone. The soul energy that drives us comes and goes, in and out of this life, without any aid. It guides us, fills us, and every once in awhile, signals a hunger that has not yet been satisfied. I stand at that crossroad.

I’m preparing to embark on a career adventure for which I’m as prepared as I know to be – both as a minister and teacher (with a small but growing congregation), and as an entrepreneur. I have the business knowledge, the education, the licenses, the support of the people involved, and the desire to be more. These are all obvious areas that will be expanded or deepened through time. But there’s more to it than even all of that.

The new roles require my growth in consciousness and trust in the unknown. Unknown relationships. Unknown challenges and successes. Unknown talents as I grow myself (metaphorically) in directions I can’t clearly see right now. I get to put into daily, focused practice (what has only been a part-time effort up until now) the knowledge and wisdom of living as the leader I have craved to demonstrate.

I do not take this opportunity lightly. I cherish this change of professional direction…to create businesses that provide abundant income for life’s goals…to guide and create a strong community of spiritual seekers and students, those who are looking to awaken the discontent in themselves and feed their soul’s hunger…to develop and deepen relationships with family and friends that are uplifting and satisfying…to be all I came to be in this life. I am comforted knowing I will have help from both God and friend. Life’s journey is never traveled alone. Let’s dine together!

Relationships

Posted on by cmryan

It doesn’t matter who you are, where you live, or the life you are creating…you will be in relationship with someone at sometime. Your very life began as a result of the physical relationship of your parents. The end of your life may include the care of those who are not your family. Yet the most important relationship to consider, which you will no doubt reflect upon during your final days if not before, is the one you have with yourself…your human personality or ego self with your spiritual or God-Self.

You are always the common denominator in any relationship of your life. Think about that? In fact, here are a few questions to consider:

  • If you are experiencing negativity or irritation or some other type of low-quality feeling with the majority of the people in your life, is it really them?
  • Would the people in your life be more welcome to you if ALL of them just changed?
  • Or is it your perspective and attitude that needs the adjustment?
  • What is the ‘quality’ of your relationships with others?
  • How do you view yourself?
  • Would you want YOU for a friend?

I am about to leave my place of employment where I’ve been for nearly two years. During this time, I’ve taken little initiative to get to know many of the people here. In fact, far more people know who I am than I do them. Our work tasks do not mingle, we’re on different floors, work different schedules, etc. It is what it is.

On the other hand, of those few people I do know and interact with regularly, the depth of most interactions has been very shallow. We’ve not gone out lunch together or shared a coffee break. Topics of conversation have centered on work or the company the majority of the time. This approach is partly due to the solitary environment in which I’ve been working, as well as my less-than-enthusiastic desire to be here. I am responsible for the way I isolated myself so as not to get too involved, which could have impacted my decision to leave or focus on a new career direction, but resolved an inner conflict I found easier to avoid than to face.

It is only now that, with the decision made to leave and my last day of working here clearly in view, I am taking the time to share of myself and they with me. Oh, what I have missed!  We have shed tears together, shared dreams, told stories, solved world problems, and laughed about so many things. Whether we continue our new, deeper relationships after my departure from this job remains to be seen.   

While I have some regret of not making this effort earlier in my tenure here, I have learned, again, a valuable lesson of living, connecting, and being present in the now moment of livingness…to recognize the preciousness of our earthly relationships and the value they offer to our spiritual consciousness. Whether it be for a moment in the check-out line, daily interaction with the people at work, or how you live with yourself from the inside-out, the quality of your relationships is up to you…and you alone.

 

Placeholder

Posted on by cmryan

Within the past couple of days, one word has repeatedly appeared in conversation – placeholder. As I witnessed the repetition of this term, my mind started paying attention to its meaning or alternative meanings. The online dictionaries define it as “words that can refer to objects or people, whose names are unknown or irrelevant” or “a symbol in a mathematical or logical expression that may be replaced by the name of any element of a set.” I began wondering why this felt so significant to me. And then I knew!

First, some background is in order. The first conscious awareness of this word’s importance was at my place of work, regarding the holding of a spot on a website so that documents could later be inserted in the proper order. Next, as my husband and I were reflecting on our recent house move, leaving one home of two years to return to where we’ve lived for over 20 years, it seemed as if the temporary residence never even happened. It was rather a surreal adventure. We were just a “placeholder,” occupying the address until the next residents arrived at the house we no longer desired. We had appreciated our time there; life was full and active. We grew in consciousness, maturity and wisdom. Then it was time to move on, literally.  Finally, as I prepare to leave my job and return to a self-employment venture, I anxiously await news that a successor will soon follow and assume my role and duties.

It occurs to me that we could view our human bodies, our earthly lives, as placeholders, too. Not in the sense of being irrelevant or to be replaced by any element, but as placeholders for our souls. We occupy a role, name or persona that suits us for a time, until a change is accepted, perhaps unwillingly at times. We fill this earthly form for several decades then release it to dust and make a space for those who follow.

Spirit–God or Life Force– lives in and through us to experience this existence as we choose to be in it. The unseen energy or intuition guides us, if we pay attention to it. We are born, grow up, work, play, love and move through Life at whatever pace we prefer or allow. When one experience ends, no matter how long we’ve been expressing in that capacity, another begins…we move on. We are as significant as we desire or imagine ourselves to be. We are placeholders for God in that each of us is a unique expression of the Divine, living and learning and sharing our lessons until it is time to voyage onward.

The important thing is that, while we are here, in whatever place or way we live, we hold the highest and best consciousness for ourselves and the world. We grow our lives right where we’re planted until we hear the call to move on…whether that be to a new home, new job, new relationship, or new form of being. Everything in this physical realm is temporary. Only the Life that fills our bodies and energizes our soul is eternal. The fact that we exist, you and I, is evidence enough that Spirit is holding our place in line for the next great adventure.

 

Routine, Habit or Practice?

Posted on by cmryan

As much as I like to think of myself as a spontaneous, free-spirited person, it’s obvious that I am more prone to routine, habit and structure. It only took three days for my new dog to figure this out about my morning routine. Even then I was trying to vary the pattern so she wouldn’t catch on…to no avail. Her ability to know that I was going to work after achieving certain tasks, leaving her alone for the day, brought out an obstinacy and nervousness I didn’t know was possible in such a little dog. I admired her intelligence for picking up my habits so quickly. It caused me to wake up to and rethink what I was doing, and how I was going to ‘out smart’ this little four-legged teacher.

Routines or habits can be good. I find they make remembering things less stressful if I do certain tasks the same way every day, such as putting my keys in the same place so I can find them later. I’ve experienced trying to change this one habit in recent weeks with negative results. I put my work keys in a different spot than I usually do, forgot I had done so, and walked away. Later, when I realized they were not in-hand, I retraced my steps only to discover that someone else had picked them up and given them to a manager. Eventually I tracked them down and my key-carrying habit has been reinstated. Some habits aren’t worth changing. Others are.

When we employ routines that allow us to be the most efficient, the most productive, they often become a habit, until something new is introduced to the process – such as a small dog. Now, I’m more aware of the routine things I do in the morning. Since I want to ease the anxiety of this small critter (an adopted, rescue dog), but still get ready for the day, I mix up my tasks. Yes, doing so slows down my exit just a bit. However, knowing I leave her calm and peaceful, I feel better. I’m paying attention. I’m consciously aware that my actions are impacting another living creature and it is my responsibility to do no harm to the best of my ability. This takes practice.

Practice, in the generic definition, is to “repeat something to get better” or “an established way of doing something, especially one that has developed through experience and knowledge.” I see practice as being consciously aware of creating a new positive routine or habit based on experience and knowledge.

For example, when we begin a meditation practice, we are very aware of every sound in the room and the stream of thoughts that suddenly (or so it seems) flood our mind for attention.  It takes combining the knowledge of what meditation is – plus conscious awareness and concerted effort – to calm the mind, ignore the sounds, dismiss the thoughts for a time, and go deep into the peaceful place within to commune with Spirit. Repeat as often as possible until it becomes a positive routine and you become serene just preparing for the meditation. Who knows, after awhile, the peacefulness of the meditation practice could very well become your way of being, of living, of habit.

My intent is the same for my new companion – to create a space of peace and trust for her. It will take time for a new routine to form…and lots of practice.

Tell Me What You Want…

Posted on by cmryan

At first glance this title may suggest that I’m asking someone what they want so I can help fulfill that desire. Actually, this is far from the meaning. While I am more than willing to assist, pray and encourage others to fulfill their dreams and goals, it is no longer in my nature to do it for them.

What this title is asking is that you be direct with me (and others)…that you speak honestly, authentically and from the heart…with compassion and respect, of course. Rest assured that I will do the same with you. A slogan I learned years ago states: “Honesty without compassion is brutality.”

When a person speaks Truth (based on principle, objectively and from their God-self), it’s much easier to hear, too. All the excuses or whining, the reasons why-not, and the justifications for being unkind, just seem to disappear and fall away. The words and emotions of Truth are more recognizable because they’re in all of us. It’s the human drama details that get in the way of us communicating effectively with one another.

I want to hear what you want to say…at the gut level, from the heart. Tell it to me straight the first time. Don’t give me a story now because you think that’s what I want to hear, and then later change the information or avoid the topic (and me) altogether. Tell me what you really want to say…what you really want to create in your life, in our relationship. I may not like the specific words used or the decision you make, but I accept your right to choose and I will heal whatever pain is felt, knowing there is actually love behind your words and actions.

I want to see the real you and the situation for what it is…not what I (or you) hope it might be…maybe…someday. I want to know the substance of who you are in this moment. I want to know you at the soul level. We are connected much more than we realize; we share a common Life Force. Truly, we are One. Whatever you say to me, you will hear as well. Your soul will. My heart will. Speak Truth and Principle and Love for one another…and tell me what you want.

What You Can Do

Posted on by cmryan

I grew up in an age when mothers stayed home to raise the children and fathers were the primary wage earners. My generation (baby boomers), especially the female population, were just being indoctrinated with the idea of career liberation. For me this was not political revolution but common sense.

Why should anyone be restricted or limited from pursuing a profession or career position simply because of their gender? Or racial background? Or any other identifiable characteristic? If you think you can do it, pursue it – was the message provided by the adults surrounding me.  Thank goodness! This approach applies not only to career aspirations, but to every realm of life conceivable. (The one caveat I include is “as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone” in the process.) In this culture we have the option to explore any job for which we have the skills or are willing to learn. We can develop artistic capabilities, musical talents, aptitudes in technology and science, human or social interests.

Life offers unlimited possibilities in every realm of consciousness. Nature is evidence of this idea. So the reasoning follows that if the Creator (God) has abundantly supplied the universe with innumerable features and beauty, available for all to appreciate and respect, why should we limit ourselves to only one or two modes of creating a life?

Through time and natural evolution new species of animals and plants have come and gone. The same is true for the technological advancements the world continues to produce. We now have items available for purchase that used to be just something seen in a sci-fi movie. After viewing a recent television commercial about an advancement in television technology, I got the feeling that I’d been projected several years (decades?) into the future. It was a bit disconcerting, but awe-inspiring as well. It validated, once more, if you can do it, pursue it!

Question is: what do I want to pursue? I’m never at a loss for new ideas. My challenge most often is deciding which path at what time. There is a cornucopia of opportunities all around you and me, surrounding us. Which one to choose? Where is time best spent? What is the best use of skills and talents? What inspires me or you today…at this stage of life…with what you can do?

There’s no doubt we change as individuals…our interests, our skills, our priorities. While my current day-job provides me with sufficient funds to pay certain bills, it leaves my soul crying for greater expression. (Fortunately, I do explore other heart-supporting endeavors, too.) A recent “personality test” allowed me to answer questions that confirmed it’s time to fulfill both – to earn an income that exceeds my financial obligations AND in a way that satisfies my creative yearnings. I know it exists or I wouldn’t have the idea. If I can think it, God (the Universe) can create it. And with God as my partner, I cannot fail!

Start Where You Are

Posted on by cmryan

Thanks to a daily reading provided earlier this week by Mary Morrissey, the idea of start where you are has been at the forefront of my mind for several days. I think of it as an expansion of “first things first,” “be here now” or “living in the now moment.” Start where you are implies there is something to be done and that you have all the tools you need to begin it.

Let’s say you want to start a meditation practice. You’d really like to spend at least an hour or two a day in total spiritual bliss and prayer, and emerge from the experience as an enlightened giant among men. But you never seem to have that much time to spare in your busy working life and you don’t know what to say. Start where you are. Dedicate just five minutes – in the morning, at night, at lunch, on a break – and begin with what you have. Set a timer if you must; it can help you relax into and focus on the moment. Use the words you know and feel. Prayers coming from the heart are much more powerful anyway. Then watch as you naturally expand the time for this meditation practice, and happily see unrealized benefits in all directions.

Recently I was counseling someone about an experience they were having with a family member. As I listened patiently for the story to be told, I could feel the pain in their words and remembered a similar incident in my own childhood. My intent was to bring unity to this person, their family, and the situation, but how? By the time the tale was told, I found myself sharing what I had done as a child when such a situation occurred in my home (Reading!) …and how I’ve benefited years later. I shared that, although my experience was painful at the time, I discovered my solution empowered me, made me feel good about myself. I found peace in the midst of chaos and a method that has been my comfort to this day. It’s led me to advanced education, writing, teaching and speaking. I started with what I had, what I knew, and built from there. Given the slightest encouragement and support, growth is inevitable!

Whether you are searching for a job, moving your home, changing a habit, helping those less fortunate, or trying to improve relationships, start where you are…it’s all you can or need to do! Tap into that Divine Energy within for strength and courage to put one foot in front of the other and get moving in the direction you have in mind. Build on your intention. What you focus on WILL grow and expand.

You can also start where you are by appreciating what you have to begin with. Gratitude is a key element in attracting ‘more’ into your life…more love, joy, peace, abundance. Just like the mustard seed, growing from its tiny form into a giant tree, you can do anything you truly desire, focus on, and nourish – start where you are!

What Do You Do?

Posted on by cmryan

It’s interesting how people respond when asked, “What do you do?” Many people start by naming their primary job or occupation, or sharing that they are now retired. However, what I recognize more and more in conversation is that their response is often followed by “but I also…” Perhaps I’m particularly sensitive to noticing this as it has become my habit as well…up until now.

What is it about our culture that we are not content with having only one occupation or job or with being done in the work world? Must we really let everyone know how busy we are at all times? And list all of our hobbies or interests or volunteer activities? Is it our ego that demands such attention to what we do or acknowledgment of what productive citizens we are? Surely our God-Self has no concern about the reply, for that Creative Energy does it all anyway! Or is it because many of us are not satisfied with our primary, income-generating occupation? Is the only way we make a living and find personal satisfaction in life to do this AND something else?

Maybe we just need another way to respond altogether. When asked, “What do you do?”…we might say something like: “I’m creating a fulfilling and happy life.” 

It’s an answer that covers all the bases without a litany of description or excuses. Another nice thing about this response, it doesn’t lock you in to one type of job description. It sets you free to do all that interests you and for which you have talent (or want to develop further)…without justification or validation. This response not only sets an example for others in how to answer such a question, but also opens the door to speak to what interests the inquirer – if they choose to take it to the next step in the conversation. With pin-pointed questions, you can respond to the exact nature of their query.

Our work is not our entire life. While it can be a big portion of it, and while we may need to pursue the “have to” until we find our bliss and the money follows, we can be grateful and happy for all that we are blessed to be doing. Do it with balance. Do it with humility. Do it with joy. What do you do? I’m creating a fulfilling and happy life!

Discipline

Posted on by cmryan

When I was growing up, “discipline” did not have the same meaning it does for me today. Back then it meant punishment for something I did wrong, a harsh consequence for breaking rules. Today, thank goodness, it means a dedication or conscious practice to something significant, something meaningful in my life.

There are many activities or skill-building actions that require discipline before one is able to attain any sort of mastery or a level of success. Areas of skill involved can include mental focus, time management, financial resources, new ideas (or distractions), relationships, etc. The discipline is in the “stick-to-it-ive-ness” of the practice…to keep going toward a desired goal even when it’s boring, repetitive or frustrating. Discipline can also be exciting, confidence-building and stimulating as you witness your skills and practice being honed to a higher level and, thus, become the new starting point for even greater accomplishments.

I’ll be the first one to admit that my interests are varied, my skills diverse.  As a result, my focus can shift from one project to another in a short period of time (within days, even hours and minutes), depending on what it is. This capability can be quite useful in my professional environment and work projects. However, it can also be frustrating when my intent is to accomplish just one thing and do it well, within a given period of time, but am instead directed elsewhere. The discipline is in returning to my original focus and intention as quickly as possible…and not giving up.

The doing of something well, through repetition, eventually becomes a discipline of another sort – a hobby, profession or expertise. The constant practice becomes a part of who you are and is done so well, so easily, that you no longer give much thought to the ‘how’ of it…you just do it. For example, I was taught to “always leave ‘it’ better than you found it”…whatever that ‘it’ might be…a campsite, a rented house or apartment, the world, a relationship, a job. This direction or discipline is now a part of who I am and I can do no less than my best. It says something about my integrity, credibility, commitment and quality of being, of my service to life (mine and others). I’ve also discovered that this is not a common practice in the world, which, I believe, makes it even more important that I continue in this manner, and teach and encourage this lesson to all who have ears to hear, starting with those closest to me (family).

I recognize that there are still many areas where concerted discipline will improve and expand my skills and consciousness…to enlarge my life. There is always room to grow!