Category: Life Skills-Creativity-Art

Relationships

Posted on by cmryan

It doesn’t matter who you are, where you live, or the life you are creating…you will be in relationship with someone at sometime. Your very life began as a result of the physical relationship of your parents. The end of your life may include the care of those who are not your family. Yet the most important relationship to consider, which you will no doubt reflect upon during your final days if not before, is the one you have with yourself…your human personality or ego self with your spiritual or God-Self.

You are always the common denominator in any relationship of your life. Think about that? In fact, here are a few questions to consider:

  • If you are experiencing negativity or irritation or some other type of low-quality feeling with the majority of the people in your life, is it really them?
  • Would the people in your life be more welcome to you if ALL of them just changed?
  • Or is it your perspective and attitude that needs the adjustment?
  • What is the ‘quality’ of your relationships with others?
  • How do you view yourself?
  • Would you want YOU for a friend?

I am about to leave my place of employment where I’ve been for nearly two years. During this time, I’ve taken little initiative to get to know many of the people here. In fact, far more people know who I am than I do them. Our work tasks do not mingle, we’re on different floors, work different schedules, etc. It is what it is.

On the other hand, of those few people I do know and interact with regularly, the depth of most interactions has been very shallow. We’ve not gone out lunch together or shared a coffee break. Topics of conversation have centered on work or the company the majority of the time. This approach is partly due to the solitary environment in which I’ve been working, as well as my less-than-enthusiastic desire to be here. I am responsible for the way I isolated myself so as not to get too involved, which could have impacted my decision to leave or focus on a new career direction, but resolved an inner conflict I found easier to avoid than to face.

It is only now that, with the decision made to leave and my last day of working here clearly in view, I am taking the time to share of myself and they with me. Oh, what I have missed!  We have shed tears together, shared dreams, told stories, solved world problems, and laughed about so many things. Whether we continue our new, deeper relationships after my departure from this job remains to be seen.   

While I have some regret of not making this effort earlier in my tenure here, I have learned, again, a valuable lesson of living, connecting, and being present in the now moment of livingness…to recognize the preciousness of our earthly relationships and the value they offer to our spiritual consciousness. Whether it be for a moment in the check-out line, daily interaction with the people at work, or how you live with yourself from the inside-out, the quality of your relationships is up to you…and you alone.

 

To Love and To Serve

Posted on by cmryan

A recent topic of discussion has revolved around the purpose of life and what that is at its purest, most basic level. After peeling away the reasons for working or…why we do certain things or…our goals in life…it seems to come down to this – the purpose in life is To Love and To Serve….each other, ourselves, family, friends, employers, humanity.

I was reminded of the importance of living with this purpose in mind when I attended one of my grandchildren’s graduation ceremonies – from kindergarten. While the five- and six-year-olds were clearly nervous standing in front of their families and those of their classmates, it was evident from their smiles and their performances that they felt supported…served…and loved. Every parent and grandparent had a camera device to capture the moment. The answer to the question “What do you want to be when you grow up?” received applause with each response. The children displayed their talents of signing the ABC’s, singing songs, and greeting guests in celebration during the reception…and in return, they received support and love and validation that their young efforts had not gone unrecognized and that they were ready to move on to first grade.

We love and serve our children (and others) when we support them in their growth, when we encourage them to find out who they are, what they can do, and how they want to be in the world. We guide them through the lessons of life and social graces and education. It is they who must do the work and experience the effects of their efforts. They have the choice, the option, to accept what we offer, or not…as do we when learning from the world…and to eventually integrate these lessons and ideas into our lives or let them go. We find out what works; what causes pain; what brings rewards.

It’s important to celebrate these graduations, these milestones of growth in our lives, no matter what age we are when they are recognized. We can love and serve ourselves through private celebrations, kind words, and loving thoughts. It’s the recognition of our God-self, that creative spirit, which keeps us growing and striving to be all we’ve come here to be. There are no limits except the ones we place on ourselves. Once we sense how life inspires us and expresses through us, we connect to a greater intention for living in this world: to love and to serve. There is no higher purpose.

Routine, Habit or Practice?

Posted on by cmryan

As much as I like to think of myself as a spontaneous, free-spirited person, it’s obvious that I am more prone to routine, habit and structure. It only took three days for my new dog to figure this out about my morning routine. Even then I was trying to vary the pattern so she wouldn’t catch on…to no avail. Her ability to know that I was going to work after achieving certain tasks, leaving her alone for the day, brought out an obstinacy and nervousness I didn’t know was possible in such a little dog. I admired her intelligence for picking up my habits so quickly. It caused me to wake up to and rethink what I was doing, and how I was going to ‘out smart’ this little four-legged teacher.

Routines or habits can be good. I find they make remembering things less stressful if I do certain tasks the same way every day, such as putting my keys in the same place so I can find them later. I’ve experienced trying to change this one habit in recent weeks with negative results. I put my work keys in a different spot than I usually do, forgot I had done so, and walked away. Later, when I realized they were not in-hand, I retraced my steps only to discover that someone else had picked them up and given them to a manager. Eventually I tracked them down and my key-carrying habit has been reinstated. Some habits aren’t worth changing. Others are.

When we employ routines that allow us to be the most efficient, the most productive, they often become a habit, until something new is introduced to the process – such as a small dog. Now, I’m more aware of the routine things I do in the morning. Since I want to ease the anxiety of this small critter (an adopted, rescue dog), but still get ready for the day, I mix up my tasks. Yes, doing so slows down my exit just a bit. However, knowing I leave her calm and peaceful, I feel better. I’m paying attention. I’m consciously aware that my actions are impacting another living creature and it is my responsibility to do no harm to the best of my ability. This takes practice.

Practice, in the generic definition, is to “repeat something to get better” or “an established way of doing something, especially one that has developed through experience and knowledge.” I see practice as being consciously aware of creating a new positive routine or habit based on experience and knowledge.

For example, when we begin a meditation practice, we are very aware of every sound in the room and the stream of thoughts that suddenly (or so it seems) flood our mind for attention.  It takes combining the knowledge of what meditation is – plus conscious awareness and concerted effort – to calm the mind, ignore the sounds, dismiss the thoughts for a time, and go deep into the peaceful place within to commune with Spirit. Repeat as often as possible until it becomes a positive routine and you become serene just preparing for the meditation. Who knows, after awhile, the peacefulness of the meditation practice could very well become your way of being, of living, of habit.

My intent is the same for my new companion – to create a space of peace and trust for her. It will take time for a new routine to form…and lots of practice.

Tell Me What You Want…

Posted on by cmryan

At first glance this title may suggest that I’m asking someone what they want so I can help fulfill that desire. Actually, this is far from the meaning. While I am more than willing to assist, pray and encourage others to fulfill their dreams and goals, it is no longer in my nature to do it for them.

What this title is asking is that you be direct with me (and others)…that you speak honestly, authentically and from the heart…with compassion and respect, of course. Rest assured that I will do the same with you. A slogan I learned years ago states: “Honesty without compassion is brutality.”

When a person speaks Truth (based on principle, objectively and from their God-self), it’s much easier to hear, too. All the excuses or whining, the reasons why-not, and the justifications for being unkind, just seem to disappear and fall away. The words and emotions of Truth are more recognizable because they’re in all of us. It’s the human drama details that get in the way of us communicating effectively with one another.

I want to hear what you want to say…at the gut level, from the heart. Tell it to me straight the first time. Don’t give me a story now because you think that’s what I want to hear, and then later change the information or avoid the topic (and me) altogether. Tell me what you really want to say…what you really want to create in your life, in our relationship. I may not like the specific words used or the decision you make, but I accept your right to choose and I will heal whatever pain is felt, knowing there is actually love behind your words and actions.

I want to see the real you and the situation for what it is…not what I (or you) hope it might be…maybe…someday. I want to know the substance of who you are in this moment. I want to know you at the soul level. We are connected much more than we realize; we share a common Life Force. Truly, we are One. Whatever you say to me, you will hear as well. Your soul will. My heart will. Speak Truth and Principle and Love for one another…and tell me what you want.

What You Can Do

Posted on by cmryan

I grew up in an age when mothers stayed home to raise the children and fathers were the primary wage earners. My generation (baby boomers), especially the female population, were just being indoctrinated with the idea of career liberation. For me this was not political revolution but common sense.

Why should anyone be restricted or limited from pursuing a profession or career position simply because of their gender? Or racial background? Or any other identifiable characteristic? If you think you can do it, pursue it – was the message provided by the adults surrounding me.  Thank goodness! This approach applies not only to career aspirations, but to every realm of life conceivable. (The one caveat I include is “as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone” in the process.) In this culture we have the option to explore any job for which we have the skills or are willing to learn. We can develop artistic capabilities, musical talents, aptitudes in technology and science, human or social interests.

Life offers unlimited possibilities in every realm of consciousness. Nature is evidence of this idea. So the reasoning follows that if the Creator (God) has abundantly supplied the universe with innumerable features and beauty, available for all to appreciate and respect, why should we limit ourselves to only one or two modes of creating a life?

Through time and natural evolution new species of animals and plants have come and gone. The same is true for the technological advancements the world continues to produce. We now have items available for purchase that used to be just something seen in a sci-fi movie. After viewing a recent television commercial about an advancement in television technology, I got the feeling that I’d been projected several years (decades?) into the future. It was a bit disconcerting, but awe-inspiring as well. It validated, once more, if you can do it, pursue it!

Question is: what do I want to pursue? I’m never at a loss for new ideas. My challenge most often is deciding which path at what time. There is a cornucopia of opportunities all around you and me, surrounding us. Which one to choose? Where is time best spent? What is the best use of skills and talents? What inspires me or you today…at this stage of life…with what you can do?

There’s no doubt we change as individuals…our interests, our skills, our priorities. While my current day-job provides me with sufficient funds to pay certain bills, it leaves my soul crying for greater expression. (Fortunately, I do explore other heart-supporting endeavors, too.) A recent “personality test” allowed me to answer questions that confirmed it’s time to fulfill both – to earn an income that exceeds my financial obligations AND in a way that satisfies my creative yearnings. I know it exists or I wouldn’t have the idea. If I can think it, God (the Universe) can create it. And with God as my partner, I cannot fail!

Start Where You Are

Posted on by cmryan

Thanks to a daily reading provided earlier this week by Mary Morrissey, the idea of start where you are has been at the forefront of my mind for several days. I think of it as an expansion of “first things first,” “be here now” or “living in the now moment.” Start where you are implies there is something to be done and that you have all the tools you need to begin it.

Let’s say you want to start a meditation practice. You’d really like to spend at least an hour or two a day in total spiritual bliss and prayer, and emerge from the experience as an enlightened giant among men. But you never seem to have that much time to spare in your busy working life and you don’t know what to say. Start where you are. Dedicate just five minutes – in the morning, at night, at lunch, on a break – and begin with what you have. Set a timer if you must; it can help you relax into and focus on the moment. Use the words you know and feel. Prayers coming from the heart are much more powerful anyway. Then watch as you naturally expand the time for this meditation practice, and happily see unrealized benefits in all directions.

Recently I was counseling someone about an experience they were having with a family member. As I listened patiently for the story to be told, I could feel the pain in their words and remembered a similar incident in my own childhood. My intent was to bring unity to this person, their family, and the situation, but how? By the time the tale was told, I found myself sharing what I had done as a child when such a situation occurred in my home (Reading!) …and how I’ve benefited years later. I shared that, although my experience was painful at the time, I discovered my solution empowered me, made me feel good about myself. I found peace in the midst of chaos and a method that has been my comfort to this day. It’s led me to advanced education, writing, teaching and speaking. I started with what I had, what I knew, and built from there. Given the slightest encouragement and support, growth is inevitable!

Whether you are searching for a job, moving your home, changing a habit, helping those less fortunate, or trying to improve relationships, start where you are…it’s all you can or need to do! Tap into that Divine Energy within for strength and courage to put one foot in front of the other and get moving in the direction you have in mind. Build on your intention. What you focus on WILL grow and expand.

You can also start where you are by appreciating what you have to begin with. Gratitude is a key element in attracting ‘more’ into your life…more love, joy, peace, abundance. Just like the mustard seed, growing from its tiny form into a giant tree, you can do anything you truly desire, focus on, and nourish – start where you are!

Choosing Oneness

Posted on by cmryan

In recent days I’ve become aware of a practice I find very disturbing. It appears our American society regularly practices the habits of labeling, profiling, discriminating and separating various segments of our culture into smaller and smaller pieces. This practice, of course, only serves to position “us against them” and cause discord on many levels. I have not paid much any attention to this, until a comment was made at my church. I will stay quiet no longer.

The first nudge began with an article that came across my desk, comparing the characteristics between introverts and extroverts. Fortunately, it was a very positive piece, written to show the qualities each personality provides. Unfortunately, I don’t remember where I read it and can’t find it for my reference here. However, another website I discovered today (http://www.carlkingdom.com/10-myths-about-introverts) provides something similar, though highlights more the benefits of being an introvert. Both personalities are necessary to our world; one is not better than the other.  Each has strengths to compliment and support the other. Balance is created when both are accepted into an organization or society.

The next unsettling bit of news came from a congressional bill that aimed to protect a familiar segment of society – those who wear leather jackets and ride motorcycles. The bill is/was an attempt to protect such folks from discrimination (as is done for gender, age, religion, etc.) by businesses or access to (commercial) property and refusal of service simply because of what they are wearing and what they drive [my interpretation of the bill].  I wasn’t even aware such fear and bias existed to such a degree, in my state of residence, in this century! To refuse service because of bad/offensive behavior, that’s more reasonable as it stems from the Universal Law of Cause and Effect.

Having personally experienced various degrees of discrimination myself – due to nationality, gender, age, and religion – the idea that I could be refused service because I rode a motorcycle and wore a practical, heavy coat against the wind and elements – just seems barbaric in today’s world. So I have to ask, does my being an introverted, female minister and a working, educated professional over the age of 55 who also likes to ride on the back of her husband’s motorcycle and wear black leather jacket, boots and chaps…am I a threat to your business? Really? I’m having a hard time expressing how ludicrous this is. What happened to “One nation…under God”? What happened to accepting our differences? What happened to Oneness taught in ALL major religions?

One of the things I preach EVERY Sunday is the acceptance of ALL people who come through the doors of our church and live in our world. We honor all paths, all faiths, all forms of prayer and worship…because at the core root of most religions, the same principles are found and we all worship the same God. Each religion teaches there is ONE God, thus, we are all praying to the same entity.

We are all members of the same family – the human family – and as such, I strongly discourage labels that even hint at separation thinking. For example, I prefer congregants over members – when referring to those who attend our spiritual community, so that everyone is included. It takes every one of us to create a welcoming and friendly atmosphere. But it only takes one fearful person carelessly expressing a personal bias against a certain group of people to damage the efforts of so many loving and open hearts. Whether in jest or in sincerity, words that separate do little good. Perhaps those thoughts, those beliefs, need to be examined and replaced.

Obviously, I have more work to do within my own church family. Apparently, I need to be more of a living example of what I’m expressing in these words. And, yes, I am more than willing to discuss the concepts and practices of Acceptance and Oneness with whomever is still living in fear of these ideals or does not yet understand the damage done through indiscriminate labeling and name-calling.

Based on the situations I’ve encountered just this week, I’ll be busy for quite some time. Won’t you join me in loving consciousness…for expanded acceptance of one another … for our human family? … for our Spiritual Oneness?

All thoughts and prayers are welcome.

Right-Sized Living

Posted on by cmryan

My mind is filled with the anticipation and excitement of an upcoming major life event. It can’t seem to stop the planning so I can sleep. Thus, I am awake once more in the middle of the night. We will soon be moving again – back to a house, a home, where we lived for many years.

We had left the house after extensive remodeling, turning it over to tenants who cared little for its history of projects, care and memories. After only a couple of years’ absence, and not being all that far away, we’ve decided to move back into our family home. It means selling a newer, larger, contemporary living space. It means sorting through boxes that were never unpacked; do we really need this stuff? It means doing all those things that are done when a house is to be prepared for sale at one location and another house is readied for inhabitants that have more possessions now than when they left. The clearing begins.

As the real estate participants and planners get involved in preparing this newer house for sale, my mind is focused on returning to our old home. We’re grateful not to have sold it when we first tried. There was a higher plan for us. We envisioned and discussed many times about moving at least one more time, preparing for those retirement years (should they ever come). Our plan included certain elements for our comfort and safety, size and location. Though about a third smaller in square footage than what we’ve been experiencing recently, there are definite features in the old home that can’t be matched.

Besides practical considerations (cheaper living costs, closer to work), our old home offers an intimacy and coziness that’s recognized by all who enter. It’s like putting on a pair of comfortable slippers after a long day. This home is filled with love and memories of our wedding, anniversaries, birthdays and innumerable holiday celebrations with family and friends. Every room bears signs of artistic effort or the marks of children now grown. The passing of time left its fingerprints on every wall. The gardens are developed and mature. Treasured possessions will find their place once again; the rest will find new homes. While our culture often uses the term “down-sizing” to describe this process, I prefer “right-sized” living.

I once heard the comment (presumably from a Scandinavian source): “Small house, big life.”  The intended meaning was that the smaller the space for collecting possessions or hiding away, the greater the possibility for getting out and experiencing Life!

A new era of “right-sized” living has begun. While the big, modern house is nice and I’m glad I experienced it, I’m ready to go home. I’m excited to get moved in, set up, and re-acquainted with the “old place” once more, feeling confident I won’t be moving again in the foreseeable future. I look forward to releasing what’s no longer needed to create an uncluttered and right-sized living environment. And, I anticipate with great joy the freedom to relax into Life…to know I can travel to foreign countries, have great adventures, meet people around the world…then settle down on my chaise in the silence of the night, and feel the home’s aliveness embrace this happy, sleepy soul. It’s just right!

Discipline

Posted on by cmryan

When I was growing up, “discipline” did not have the same meaning it does for me today. Back then it meant punishment for something I did wrong, a harsh consequence for breaking rules. Today, thank goodness, it means a dedication or conscious practice to something significant, something meaningful in my life.

There are many activities or skill-building actions that require discipline before one is able to attain any sort of mastery or a level of success. Areas of skill involved can include mental focus, time management, financial resources, new ideas (or distractions), relationships, etc. The discipline is in the “stick-to-it-ive-ness” of the practice…to keep going toward a desired goal even when it’s boring, repetitive or frustrating. Discipline can also be exciting, confidence-building and stimulating as you witness your skills and practice being honed to a higher level and, thus, become the new starting point for even greater accomplishments.

I’ll be the first one to admit that my interests are varied, my skills diverse.  As a result, my focus can shift from one project to another in a short period of time (within days, even hours and minutes), depending on what it is. This capability can be quite useful in my professional environment and work projects. However, it can also be frustrating when my intent is to accomplish just one thing and do it well, within a given period of time, but am instead directed elsewhere. The discipline is in returning to my original focus and intention as quickly as possible…and not giving up.

The doing of something well, through repetition, eventually becomes a discipline of another sort – a hobby, profession or expertise. The constant practice becomes a part of who you are and is done so well, so easily, that you no longer give much thought to the ‘how’ of it…you just do it. For example, I was taught to “always leave ‘it’ better than you found it”…whatever that ‘it’ might be…a campsite, a rented house or apartment, the world, a relationship, a job. This direction or discipline is now a part of who I am and I can do no less than my best. It says something about my integrity, credibility, commitment and quality of being, of my service to life (mine and others). I’ve also discovered that this is not a common practice in the world, which, I believe, makes it even more important that I continue in this manner, and teach and encourage this lesson to all who have ears to hear, starting with those closest to me (family).

I recognize that there are still many areas where concerted discipline will improve and expand my skills and consciousness…to enlarge my life. There is always room to grow!

Gratitude

Posted on by cmryan

Many of the prayers Jesus spoke (according to the Bible) began with “thank you.” A prayer of thanks or gratitude is a good practice to follow, especially when life is not manifesting according to plan.

Before I even rise from the bed, I begin my day with the acknowledgement and gratitude of waking up to another day. I breathe. I am alive. There are mornings when I awake in time to see the pink of sunrise or the afterglow of the full moon before the dawn. The exhaustion I felt the night before has been erased and my energy is restored; for that alone I am thankful. Shortly thereafter, I am lovingly served a cup of coffee by my husband and together we share a spiritual reading that gives us a common focus and consideration. I often find it difficult to leave this morning space of sharing, appreciation, and loving companionship.

Whether the day is filled with special tasks, heavy chores, professional responsibilities, or fun activities, you and I get to choose how we will attend to such matters and with what frame of mind. An “attitude of gratitude” can make any situation lighter and your awareness more positive.

The stress of a hard day at the office can be replaced with gratitude for employment. Disgruntled thoughts about a long commute home in the snow quickly disappear when you see a homeless person sleeping on a sidewalk in the midst of winter. The pressure of bills to pay can subside when a paycheck is automatically deposited into your bank account. Feelings of loneliness quickly disappear in the hugs of a grandchild. Even if the starting point of gratitude is being thankful for your breath, for life, for the food you’ve just eaten or the shelter in which you live, it can be enough to change thoughts of lack into appreciation for what exists. Once gratitude is felt and embodied, that feeling of abundance, in its smallest form, can magnify what is present and attract even more Good into your life.

Meister Eckhart is credited with saying that, if the only prayer we ever said was “thank you” – that would be enough. I say, he’s right. There’s far too much complaining going on. I know I must be constantly vigilant in this matter. It’s time to appreciate all we have in our lives – past, present, and future possibilities. Every moment is the right time to express sincere gratitude. And in so doing, watch and experience our worlds attract greater good and expand beyond our wildest imaginings!

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!